All posts by Captain

Last Rites Co-Owner; Senior Editor; Handsome & Interesting Man; Just get evil all the time.

Hazzard’s Cure – Smoke Iron Plunder Review

Look, I get it: You don’t like to have fun anymore. No one does. Politics suck, the weather sucks, your rent/mortgage sucks, your job sucks, the universe sucks. Why, just the other day I saw

The Mass – Ghost Fleet Review

Those unfamiliar with how a gig like this typically works might benefit from discovering that most of us make it to around the first of December before pulling the plug on basically everything in order

Captain’s Best Of 2016: Temba, His Arms Open

I want to live in a lighthouse. Not one of those crappy ones, either. I want to live in the sort of lighthouse that people stand beside and plaintively look out to sea while sipping

Worm Ouroboros – What Graceless Dawn Review

Guilt by metal association. For many, that’s the principal reason you’ll see a band like Worm Ouroboros crop up on metal sites whenever a new album drops. All three members are connected to the scene,

Quicksand Dream – Beheading Tyrants Review

Many metal enthusiasts love debating Integrity and purity and how those words relate to the truest of the true “true metal” champions. Does this band honor the roots enough, does that band adhere to the

Darkthrone – Arctic Thunder Review

One of unlimited advantages of Darkthrone is the fact that they’ve always guarded an inherent, gleaming “metalness” at their core that’s never come close to being doused. That’s something that likewise radiated within the foundation

Cardinal Wyrm – Cast Away Souls Review

Fear. And more specifically, fear of the unknown. That’s the big one. The single heaviest emotion that drives people to hide, drink, weep, not sleep, “see the light,” or, in a best case scenario, soldier

Asphyx – Incoming Death Review

In a fictional world in the (perhaps) not-too-distant future that finds three quarters of the population suddenly wiped out and yours truly somehow surviving, there will be a night spent at a quiet campfire in

Eternal Champion – The Armor of Ire Review

Reviews are unnecessary. We don’t really like to talk about that out in the open like this, but there you go. Any schmoe with an internet connection and an afternoon off can judge whether or

Altar of Oblivion – Barren Grounds Review

Doomed Thursday continues… One week ago today, it was the feel-good buzz of Beelzefuzz. The week before, the leveling debut from Wretch. And really, those are just two pieces of a greater puzzle revealing the