See You Next Year (Or Next Week), Suckers!

As the weather grows colder and 2017 stumbles to an end, it’s time that the Last Rites staff retires to our privately owned island in the South Pacific to frolic and drink and re-charge our batteries and drink and plan for 2018 and drink and listen to copious amounts of heavy metal and drink. But before we scamper off to beautiful beaches and an everflowing stream of rum, we wanted to extend a hearty Thank You to each and every one of you for reading whatever tomfoolery we’ve spit forth this year — it’s cliche, we know, but we really couldn’t do this without you, the erstwhile reader. And even if we could, we’d rather not.

So as we sit back and buckle our literal seat-belts in the manner demonstrated by the flight attendants on our chartered jet, it’s time for you to sit back and buckle your metaphorical seat-belts and get ready for all the shenanigans we have planned for 2018. The world is a complete mess, but we still have plenty of great heavy metal to talk about. So we’ve got that going for us, which is nice…

Thanks for everything, kids, and we’ll see you back here on January 3rd. When we get back, Zach will tell you all about our vacation.

———
Adios, 2017!

Posted by Last Rites

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