Best Of 2023 – Captain: Have You Heard The Good Word About Clunky Clock Radios And Power Metal, Brothers And Sisters??

I grew up in a very music friendly household. Both my parents were (and continue to be) music obsessive, and any time we were home and the TV wasn’t on, chances were pretty good you’d hear anything from Queen to Earth, Wind & Fire to Cat Stevens cranking from our humble little living room. To this day I can’t hear Chicago Transit Authority’s “Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is” without thinking about sliding into my Superman sweatshirt after a full Saturday morning devoted to adventure cartoons and getting ready to hit the streets on my bike. You know, as a little kid. Though it wouldn’t be that big of a stretch to discover I still follow a similar routine all these decades later.

It’s 4:20, bro!

Anyway, yes, I grew up in a very music friendly household, and once my parents discovered I was beginning to mirror their enthusiasm for all manner of songs, they bought me a big clunky clock radio for my bedside table. They did this under the guise that said clunky radio was intended to further encourage my newfound music gusto, which it did, but it’s secret purpose was a creative attempt at finding a new tool to help keep me from waking them up in the middle of the night on a regular basis. As it happens, I was also blessed with a notably colorful imagination, but as a little kid I didn’t always use those powers for good, so my funny little brain often cooked up stories riiiiight around lights out that involved a witch living behind my bed board that hoped to pluck a single hair from my head for use in spells, or yarns about a giant orange wolf that would regularly chase me home at night. You know, the sort of horror stories that develop naturally in a household that also fostered a big book of old German fairytales.

“If you start feeling a little scared, son, try turning on your clock radio to see if the music helps,” my weary pop finally suggested. And you know what? It worked. How could a kid possibly be scared about unsolicited witch visitations with Pat Traver’s “Snortin’ Whiskey” quietly drifting from the green glow of a clock radio at midnight?

The true bonus for me, however, was the fact that embarking on my music journey through an overworked, clunky clock radio as my ground zero amidst a time when—get this—radio actually managed to not suck meant I was exposed to an endless array of toothsome genres, from rock to R&B (Sunday late nights had a show called “Pillow Talk”) to jazz. Metal came a little later, once I discovered the far left of the dial on Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights. Suffice to say, “diversity is the essence of existence” has long been one of my most sacred mantras.

The point of all this is pretty straightforward: I very much appreciate the opportunity to shine a light on my favorite music every year. I know there are loads of Debbie Downers And Willie Wetblankets out there that find endlessly creative ways to be sour during list season, but I’ve always enjoyed the way this time of year kind of represents a season finale with everything neatly wrapped up. Sure, I’m just one schlub out of billions, so who really cares, but it’s still fun. And closing out the wrap-up with a stack of favorites outside of metal just feels natural because, 1) I’ve been up the shirt of damn-near every genre since I was a kid, and 2) There’s a whole bunch great stuff out there just ripe for the plucking, so why not go the cornucopia route. (P.S. Five metal bands have called themselves Cornucopia, but only one band back in 1995 called themselves Pornucopia.)

One other matter before I wrap this up. It’s worth mentioning (again) that I am a cheater. I cheat every year at Last Rites by splitting my appreciation for the power metal sphere in the annual We Have the Power feature. Given that, the list below will explore the rest of our realm. Just know that the following two power albums crushed a ton of playing time this year:

But beyond the numbers game, and despite the fact that I’ve repeatedly professed that 2023 belongs to power, the opposite and uglier end of the heavy spectrum also delivered a hero’s heap of heavy hitters, which means I will absolutely shut up right this minute and get to the moving forward.

Hey! You out there! Readers, bands, albums, fellow Last Riters and friends! Please accept this extraordinarily heartfelt THANK YOU for hanging with me again in 2023. Let’s do it again in 2024.

BRINGING HONOUR UNTO THIS HOUSEHOLD: THE 20-11

20. STYGIAN RUIN – A WORLD PAST HOPE AND FEAR

State-of-the-art dungeon synth sans latex facial prosthetics.

“…instead of the Mortiis School of Dungeonry—an institution I am personally quite fond of—principal Stygian Ruin architect E.R. appears to have graduated with honours from the John Carpenter School of Synthology and Soundtrack Design. This gives A World Past Hope and Fear an extremely satisfying sense of ‘80s horror suspense without, you know, outright plagiarizing something like Halloween. It’s an atmosphere that mixes seamlessly with the other face of Stygian Ruin: a form of strangely hushed black metal that falls in line with, say, Paysage d’Hiver, classic Ruins of Beverast, or early Runespell, all of which deliver music that sounds as if it rolled in off funeral or hyperborean winds.”

• Last Rites review
• Bandcamp

19. CENTURY – THE CONQUEST OF TIME

Virtually every element pertaining to this record sounds as if it was born on a stage at some derelict venue in Britain circa 1982. And while I wouldn’t say the two lads behind Sweden’s Century have created something next level enough to shotgun them directly into a conversation that includes the Priests and Maidens of the NWOBHM, The Conquest of Time is still packed with enough crackling energy and heart-felt devotion to the olde ways to warrant endless returns. Think Bleak House’s Rainbow Warrior with a more rounded production and you’re more than halfway there. Safe to say, Century understands the value of a big hook, and anyone who crushes hard on melodic leads will find plenty to love here. Bottom line: If you prefer your heavy metal dustier than a set of encyclopedias in the attic, The Conquest of Time is definitely your huckleberry.

• Bandcamp

18. VÓRTIZE – DESDE BAJO TIERRA

Something about the way Vórtize approaches the trad metal blueprint makes an album like Desde Bajo Tierra sound as if it’s intended to accompany some sort of elaborate stage play. The music is just… so very narrative, and it conjures visuals of satyrs and witches dancing around ceremonial fires just as readily as it does full-plated paladins fighting through their trials to unearth some kind of blessed talisman. We love this sort of thing, we of the heavy metal faith, and we especially love it when the narrative likewise reminds us of something Gabriel García Márquez might’ve worked into One Hundred Years of Solitude. I’m speaking of the royal we, mind you, but I’m definitely hoping that sort of thing sounds just as magickal and alluring to you as it does me, so we can gather together and celebrate Desde Bajo Tierra together as the world’s most magnificent team.

• Last Rites review
• Bandcamp

17. BLOOD OATH – LOST IN AN ETERNAL SILENCE

Chuck Schuldiner struggled with the idea of wearing The Lord of Death Metal crown because he was a deep thinker who didn’t always appreciate the genre’s capacity to inspire savage lunkheads to double-fist Budweisers and put their melons through a plate glass window when That One Riff™ hits, so he delivered unto us sophisticated death metal. Thanks for that, Lord Charles. For their part, Chile’s Blood Oath clearly appreciates the trailblazing Chuck did as it relates to progressive death metal, but the sophistication injected into a record like Lost in an Eternal Silence isn’t so over the top that it all but demands the listener to use a coaster every time you have a drink whilst listening. (Though I would definitely never say no to a Blood Oath coaster.) Raw sophistication is the order of the day, baby. Like a foie gras sausage in a soft, delicious Wonder bun.

• Last Rites review
• Bandcamp

16. HEAVY LOAD – RIDERS OF THE ANCIENT STORM

Somewhere out there in the world right now, a little kid is prepping for an oral report about their beloved uncle, a kindly and treasured individual whose nearest brush with fame involved making it into their town’s local newspaper 50 years ago by virtue of playing guitar in an ancient band that “dressed like weirdos and refused to cut their hair.” Dear ol’ uncle will attempt to convey the importance of something called “70s’ symphonic rock” to his treasured niece, and he will play a smattering of classics from the likes of Angel, Sweet, Queen, and Styx, and he will do so by using a forgotten and rather unwieldy looking contraption called a turntable. The child will get an A+ on their oral report, and the soundtrack to the entire experience can be wholly encapsulated by listening to this, the triumphant and dramatic return to the stage by Sweden’s heroic Heavy Load, which just so happens to be their first legit material in 40 years. Thankfully, unlike that uncle’s forgotten band, Heavy Load managed to really pack them arenas, we just didn’t really know about it all the way over here in Amurica.

• Band website

15. TRIUMPHER – STORMING THE WALLS

From this year’s edition of We Have the Power: “If you prefer your power built on a steely USPM foundation similar to what Manowar established decades ago, particularly the extraordinary strength of a record like Kings of Metal and facets of The Triumph of Steel, you simply will not do yourself a greater favor in 2023 than picking up Triumpher’s stunning debut, Storming the Walls.” Furthermore—and I type the following words with an assassin’s blade hovering at my neck, because I generally despise statements such as this—Storming the Walls is tailor-made for those who prefer to avoid the “cheesy” side of the power metal realm (embrace all facets of power, you lactose intolerant snugglefritzes), as Triumpher is very much in the business of walloping with a brutish and often epic form of power that sidesteps bouncy optimism in favor of dark fury.

• Last Rites review
• Bandcamp

14. MORTUARY DRAPE –  BLACK MIRROR

I have spoken of this at length before, but it’s worth mentioning again: Despite my inexhaustible love of all things Mercyful Fate and King Diamond, I’m really not terribly wild about bands that outright photocopy either band. What I love so much about Mortuary Drape and Black Mirror is the fact that the album manages to conjure the spirit of Fate and Diamond, but it does so without coming across as a flimsy xerox. Specifically, it casts that familiar “oh shit, you read a passage from that creepy book bound in flesh? Now we’re all toast” spell we love so much about a song like “A Dangerous Meeting,” and it infuses an equal share of solo Diamond’s penchant for weaving a deeply melodic horror narrative. The result is… Well, Mortuary Drape’s trademark black / death sorcery with an even stronger and more devilish Hammer Film Productions sense, which is pretty much what’s been going on in their camp since 2014’s equally great Spiritual Independence.

• Last Rites review
• Bandcamp

13. ICE GIANT – GHOST OF HUMANITY

I really don’t know why more people aren’t talking about Ghost of Humanity. Hell, I have no idea why I didn’t write about Ghost of Humanity at some point before the record broke through our atmosphere. I’m guessing it’s because I spent the months prior to its release doing little else than listening to and writing about the greatest power metal albums of all time, which, as it happens, holds a very curious connection to this wonderful little release. In case you haven’t noticed, 2023 pretty much belongs to power metal, both in its purest form AND in the ways power has found itself wriggling into some perhaps surprising little corners. Well, Ice Giant weaves a notably symphonic and LIFTING form of power into a sophisticated melodic death metal model that ends up sounding a bit like Seven Spires or Dialith colliding with Extol. Remember Extol? The classic years of Extol? Anyway, if the idea of a wonderfully dramatic and sweeping adventure packed to the rafters with vocal hooks (“Serenity of Darkness!”), theatrical symphonics and loads of killer leads sounds like a great idea to you, please give Ghost of Humanity your immediate attention.

• Bandcamp

12. VARATHRON – THE CRIMSON TEMPLE

“HEY, MAN, IS THAT FREEDOM ROCK?”

No, it’s actually the new Varathron album.

“WELL THEN TURN… wait, now, what is it again?”

Yeah, sure, this might sound like a totally different beast compared to the ‘thron era that produced His Majesty at the Swamp, but isn’t it awesome when a retro console you used to love upgrades into something as epic as, say, The Switch? We still get the clear nod to the olde ways, but with brighter colors and even more epic adventuring with each twist and turn. That, in a tidy nutshell, is the principle difference between Varathron circa mid-90s and where we are today with The Crimson Temple. This is still the same band beholden to metal from the early ‘80s filtered through the first wave of black metal, it’s just cleaner, brighter and sharper. For me, that’s clearly a huge score, as I can’t put The Crimson Temple down right now. Definitely an album I expect to climb the ranks further as we rip into 2024.

• Last Rites review
• Bandcamp

11. CRUEL FORCE – DAWN OF THE AXE

Friends, I hope you have your affairs in order, because Cruel Force is here to kill you. Probably not the biggest surprise, considering they’re called Cruel Force, right? A band with a name like that blows into your Norman Rockwell-painted life and you don’t exactly expect to be coddled by some form of atmospheric post-gaze poop polish. So, yeah, get your shit in order, kiss your dear cat Boopsie on her perfect little head, and get ready for the axe to drop. There, there, now. It won’t be so bad—these guys are swift, and despite the fact that an album like Dawn of the Axe packs a lethal amount of Bonded By Blood inside an already savage Teutonic attack, there’s also an ideal pinch of elegant melody in the corners to ensure the swing is as clean and precise as it is severely fatal. Bonus score: You will gallop off to your last sunset to the beat of Jürgen “VENTOR” Reil’s longest tom fill to date.

• Bandcamp

THE SACRED AND TOTALLY FETCHING TOP TEN

10. COFFIN MULCH – SPECTRAL INTERCESSION

If you’re like me—handsome, brainless and mostly appreciated in Germany—then you’ve heard approximately [insert outrageously impressive number] albums that sound very similar to the HM-2-fueled treachery that is Coffin Mulch’s very embraceable debut full-length. What sets a record like Spectral Intercession apart from the near infinite amount of other albums similarly worshipping at the altar of classic Swedeath, however, is… Well, I’m actually not all that sure, to be perfectly honest. I just know these songs are like beefy crack: marbled, addictive, and likely to cause you to strip naked under a freeway overpass for reasons you will not remember 24 hours later.

Maybe it’s simply because these guys know how to write really good songs? That’s a pretty unimaginative explanation, but it’s the easiest way to explain how a band like Coffin Mulch manages to trick your brain into believing it really wants to hear the sort of music we’d expect to accompany a crazed butcher carving up a human buttocks for top sirloin. In the end, sometimes that golden next-level of enjoyment for something that’s been done to death is rooted in little else than the fact that the artists (cough) responsible happen to be doing the thing better than most everyone else who’s doing similarly. Bonus: “Gateway to the Unseen” is the heaviest song of the year, and the competition ain’t even close.

• Last Rites review
• Bandcamp

9. PAROXYSM UNIT – FRAGMENTATION // STRATAGEM

Paroxysm Unit is a U.N. Peaceruining team comprised of current members from Adharcáil, Behold the Arctopus, Dysrhythmia, Edenic Past, Encenathrakh, Gorguts, Indricothere, Krallice, Xazraug, Arelseum, Byla, Catatonic Effigy, Containor, Dark Ages, Domestigrind, Driftloss, Glyptoglossio, Groeth, Hathenter, Kheth Astron, Moviereview, Phonon, Tholos Gateway, Thousandth Cave, Urthshroud, and that’s literally just guitarist / silence hater Colin Marston. What’s on tap here is a highly intricate form of brutal slam, so that basically means you can expect Fragmentation // Stratagem to sound like something that might roar from the speakers at a romantic Klingon restaurant on Kronos that serves Gagh Soufflé in a Ferengi skull. There are no solos here, no useless soundclips from clever films, and exactly zero chance you’ll walk away thinking, “wow, this is what Mozart was envisioning when he wrote The Marriage of Figaro in his silk underpants.”

The other day this album was playing at the exact same time I stumbled across an instagram clip of a group of penguins chasing a butterfly, and the two synched up perfectly. Playful penguin shenanigan slam is the next big thing.

• Bandcamp

8. ASCENDED DEAD – EVENFALL OF THE APOCALYPSE

I can’t imagine it would be very fun to fall out of a dugout canoe and directly into a school of piranha, but maybe—just maybe—at some point amidst the dreadful ordeal the brain’s pain center would max out and simply shut down, leaving you with several calm moments where a humming awareness of the hugeness of your end and a strange appreciation for the finesse behind the ludicrous ferocity would become strangely zen and maybe even a little bit humorous. Evenfall of the Apocalypse is death by a pitiless school of piranha, but add to it the heat of Hell’s furnace to further boil your epic demise before your bleached bones slowly drift down to rest in the oily riverbed. Sure, it’s not exactly the sort of thing to play in the car on a first date, but maybe that first date needs to come to a notably swift and hilarious end? Bonus hails for the brief moments of melody that very occasionally wriggle through like happy little parasites dancing on the swollen tongues of sturgeons.

• Last Rites review
• Bandcamp

7. FABRICANT – DRUDGE TO THE THICKET

My ears went into full alert mode the moment I discovered that 2/3’s of the Fabricant participation is owed to dark death / black metal stunt pilots Mefitis, a band responsible for two of my favorite extreme metal full-lengths of the last five years (2019’s Emberdawn and 2021’s Offscourings). Fabricant’s overall design is equally as off the beaten path, but where the overall course provided by Mefitis seems more intent on enveloping the wanderer in full darkness, Fabricant ushers the listener into realms that feel uniquely mad hatter and willfully bright. Like, have a seat at this moss covered stump in a wholly unchartered forest, drink this wiggly tea, eat some of these rippling mushroom caps, and then watch a parade of grubs, gremlins and fœ perform A Midsummer Night’s Dream until your human skin sloughs off. Ultimate perk: the adventurous and animated bass that skanks around the glade like fat bumble bee drunk on stinking corpse lily pollen.

• Bandcamp

6. AUTOPSY – ASHES, ORGANS, BLOOD AND CRYPTS

Autopsy has been in my life for quite a long time. My first encounter with one of their records occurred when I blind-bought a copy of Severed Survival in the summer of 1989, and the first time I had the, um, “pleasure” of seeing them play live was at the infamous A Day of Death fest in Buffalo back in 1990. If memory serves, which it often doesn’t, Autopsy didn’t hit the stage until around 2:30 or 3am, but any and all who made it that far were treated to one of the finest and most ghastly performances in death metal’s storied history.

I bring this up not as some sort of flex, but because I’m hoping it adds a touch more credence to the following statement: Ashes, Organs, Blood and Crypts is the best / most toxic thing Autopsy has done in over thirty years, and the album’s overall quality is high enough that I would only put the aforementioned Severed Survival and its twisted sequel, Mental Funeral (my all-time fave Autopsy full-length), above it in terms of undefeatable, demented victories. How did they do it? Beats the hell out of me. Maybe they spent a year eating nothing but rats and discarded pizza boxes in some impossibly deep, loathsome Oakland sewer. Or maybe Chris Reifert just brought in donuts every day during the recording process. It’s funny how priorities change as we get older. Bonus prize: the probationary period for fresh bassist Greg “Chris Reifert stole part of my beard” Wilkinson is clearly over, so you can hear his bubbling all OVER this putrid jewel.

• Last Rites review
• Bandcamp

5. ANACHRONISM – MEANDERS

Meanders is the first album I fell fully in love with in 2023—a perfect introduction to the year that balanced a curiously elegant form of darting barbarism with an ideal pinch of warm, optimistic melody. Yep, I’d confirm that Anachronism is generally in the business of throwing un-hittable screwballs, but it’s that terrifically unique form of elegance that manages to eclipse all other aspects of their overall approach, leaving the listener with the sort of residual effect you’d perhaps expect after a particularly potent deep tissue body massage. Here’s a little snippet from the write-up I did back in January to nail things home further:

“Predominantly noisy and suited for encouraging an odd strut that will by jingo get you some stares on the street, ‘Source’ also throws down a splendidly amiable drift and shimmer at its midpoint and again around 3:30 that could conjure images of Mithras or Sarpanitum, and the way the song drifts further into the darkness of space toward its close feels a bit like a favorable collision between Voivod and Godflesh. All of it smashed together renders a wonderfully unique mixture of tempers and tones, and while I’d like to delve deeper into the technical aspects of the band’s zigzagging dissonance, I never managed to get much further than 2nd chair as a high school band saxophonist, so doing so would probably be akin to asking your Golden Retriever to explain how your car’s transmission works. ARF!”

• Last Rites review
• Bandcamp

4. REZN – SOLACE

I’ve always found it humorous that our world harbors an entire faction of extreme metal whose foremost purpose focuses on being the heaviest thing that’s ever landed WITHOUT destroying everything in the path of its descent and impact. “Let’s be heavier than God’s arm, but only because we want to comfortably pin weedlords to the couch for hours at a time.” ~ 90% of Stoner Doom.

Well, REZN is a psych / stoner / doom band that’s interested in pinning listeners to the cushions for hours on end, but their overall approach to an obscene amount of gravity is decidedly different compared to the typical Orange amp abusers, thanks to their perhaps surprising inclusion of dream pop / shoegaze elements in the bottom heavy blueprint. Here’s how I broke it down in a write-up of Solace back late February:

“REZN has found wholly new pastures by seamlessly spinning long, honeyed strands of reflective dream pop / electro synth into their picture. That familiar and solemn heaviness that’s always been at the crux of the McWilliams / Cangelosi / Dunn trinity is of course still there, but the addition of Ouellette and an increased underscoring of his role over the years has definitely pushed REZN into a sphere of its own. Balance is key, and the manner in which these four manage to blend worlds on a record like Solace not only pushes the genre forward, it speaks to the impressive dexterity of each player involved.”

• Last Rites review
• Bandcamp

3. AFTERBIRTH – IN BUT NOT OF

I’ve been thinking a lot about afterbirth lately. Afterbirth the actual (gulp) discharge (a far worse word compared to afterbirth) and of course Afterbirth the band, the impetus for all things afterbirth dancing around in my head. I’m sure we can all agree, afterbirth the stuff is pretty gross. But it’s also something that’s fundamentally connected to the most important thing in life—literal LIFE—so it shouldn’t elicit purely negative connotations because, for the most part, birth is happiness personified. Furthermore, afterbirth is the natural and necessary counterbalance to the pure beauty of brand new baby—the once vital and now fruitless feeding mechanism and fetal membranes bagged, tagged and ready for some heaping afterbirth landfill floating out there… probably on Lake Superior, if you happen to be located in North Amurica. So, yeah, think about some big afterbirth barge out there on Lake Superior, slowly cutting through debris and ice and time while we all binge episodes of What We Do in the Shadows from the comfort of our cozy beds.

Over time, all that afterbirth heaped like the world’s most glutinous mountain will take on a life of its own, because… in a world that also includes extra large chicken fries to pair with triple bbq whoppers and four gallon cups of diet Baja Blast, why the hell not, right? Well, that sentient heap of endless afterbirths will eventually pilot the barge to the shores of Thunder Bay, and upon its arrival, the humans responsible for its presence will greet the beast in fear, knowing that it was banished out of sight, despite its vital importance to our very existence. Thankfully, the massive and sentient afterbirth heap is not actually angry with us, because at least it now has a chance at existence itself! So, it informs us of its plans to slink off into the Canadian Rockies to do whatever massive, sentient heaps of afterbirth do, and everyone rides off into the sunset with joy in their hearts, including the massive pile of afterbirth.

In But Not Of is the soundtrack to the Hallmark Channel movie event detailing the events of this story, and New York’s Afterbirth has picked the perfect name for their gross but weirdly uplifting form of brutal and adventurous death metal.

~Fin~

• Last Rites review
• Bandcamp

2. TRICHOMONIASIS – MAKESHIFT CREMATORIA

HEY ONE PERSONS TRASH IS ANOTHER PERSONS TREASURE AM I RIGHT WELL RIGHT HERE WE HAVE THE DEBUT LONG PLAYER FROM A BAND CALLED TRICHOMONIASIS WHICH IS A WORD I REALLY DONT WANT TO GOOGLE BECAUSE ONE TIME I GOOGLED BLUE WAFFLE AND GOT FIRED FROM MY JOB AND ENDED UP SLEEPING IN A REFRIGERATOR BOX FOR A SOLID SIX MONTHS SO YEAH THATS OUT ANYWAY TRICHOMONIASIS IS A BAND THAT MAKES MUSIC THAT SOUNDS LIKE A BACKED UP SEWER IN NEW YORK CITY BLOWING FOUR THOUSAND TONS OF POOP AND RATS AND BABY DIAPERS RIGHT UP AND OUT INTO THE STREETS YOU CAN LITERALLY HEAR THAT THE DRUMS HERE ARE SUPPOSED TO SOUND LIKE THEM SEWER LIDS HITTING THE CONCRETE AGAIN AFTER GETTING BLASTED A MILE INTO THE AIR EVERYBODY’S COVERED IN POOP AND TRASH NOW WHICH ISN’T THE BEST WAY TO START YOUR DAY BUT YOURE STILL ALIVE AND HEY AT LEAST YOU GOT THE FINALE OF THE MASKED SINGER TO WATCH ON TV TONIGHT THE ALBUM MAKESHIFT CREMATORIA IS MOSTLY A LOT OF NOISE IF YOUVE NEVER FIGURED OUT HOW TO LISTEN TO SLAMMIN ALIEN DEATH METAL BUT IF YOU ARE A CONNOISEWER (SEE WHAT I DID THERE) OF THE STYLE YOU WILL BE SURPRISED BY HOW ADVENTUROUS THE ALBUM ACTUALLY IS DID YOU LISTEN TO THE SONG CALLED AN EMBARRASSMENT OF RICHES YET GO DO THAT AND I WILL WAIT A MINUTE TO SEE WHAT YOU THINK

OKAY NOW WHAT DID YOU THINK AMAZING RIGHT ITS LIKE THE BALLAD OF THE ALBUM BECAUSE THE GUITARS ARE ALL CLEAN AND THE GUY DOING THE VOCALS ALMOST SOUNDS LIKE HE IS TRYING TO GET REAL CLOSE FOR A KISS WHILE HE IS DOING THE SINGING THE TROUBLE IS YOU PROBLY DONT WANT THIS GUY TO KISS YOU BECAUSE IM PRETTY SURE HE IS A LIZARD PERSON WHOSE FAVORITE FOOD IS GALLBLADDERS AND UTERUSES

WHAT DID YOU SAY? YOU DONT THINK THIS ALBUM HAS ANY MUSICAL VALUE AT ALL YEAH YOURE PROBABLY RIGHT I HATE MYSELF NOW

• Last Rites review
• Bandcamp

1. MOONLIGHT SORCERY – HORNED LORD OF THE THORNED CASTLE

My first exposure to the second wave of black metal went down when the college radio station I was a part of somehow landed a promotional copy of A Blaze in the Northern Sky. To say I was mesmerized during initial spins is a big understatement. The record took over my life for a solid month, eclipsing all the early 90s’ death metal and grindcore I figured represented the most crucial musical movement of the time, and ultimately sparking a singular fire deep inside my crux that I wasn’t even aware lay dormant.

Unfortunately, there really weren’t a ton of avenues for discovering more about black metal back then, so I just sort of held onto A Blaze and became intimately familiar with every angle of its eeeeevil grip. I loved everything about it, but it was the primeval darkness and Darkthrone’s fealty to utter rawness that appealed to me the most, and I very much appreciated how the record made me feel like that scene in American Werewolf in London where David Kessler dreams of running off into the woods nude to take down a living deer with nothing but his savage teeth. The power of possession.

Eventually, Emperor came into my life, and with them came a sudden awareness of a wholly different angle equally mastered by the second wave of black metal in the early ‘90s: Arrogance. So, where Darkthrone put me in touch with the feral beast roiling deep in my marrow, Emperor made me feel elite and aristocratic. Moreover, up to that point I didn’t think I cared at all about melody being infused into black metal, but Emperor flipped that script without losing touch with a requisite chunk of cold rawness.

What I didn’t expect, however, was to eventually witness Emperor eclipsing Darkthrone as my all-time favorite black metal band, but that’s precisely what happened at some point last year amidst an umpteenth binge of both discographies. In the end, I think Emperor’s highly arrogant approach to epic and symphonic black metal perhaps resonates more with the hubris humans tend to feel for finding some way to survive past the age of 40. We feel… pride for not ending up in a dirty ditch or something, and it’s now time to hunt a little less and simply enjoy haddock under a cloche whilst sipping Pinot from a long-stemmed glass. That definitely feels more Emperor.

What in the blue fuck am I going on about.

OH, YES! MOONLIGHT SORCERY!

Horned Lord of the Thorned Castle could not have landed at a more perfect time for me. My black metal priorities had recently rerouted toward Emperor and the more arrogant, and I spent the entire summer revisiting and chronicling the greatest power metal albums of all time. That’s basically Horned Lord in the tidiest of nutshells: a cold, notably epic form of symphonic black metal that finds a delightfully unique way of working the bright melody of classic power metal into the core of its design. And if for some reason seeing the words “power” and “metal” fused together causes your delicate sensibilities to weep like Tom Hanks saying goodbye to Wilson, just call it “very melodic black metal.”

Here’s a snippet from my write-up from a couple months ago to drive the point home further:

“Just in case it’s not imminently clear, you will be filing Horned Lord of the Thorned Castle under black metal, even if you happen to be one of those stiff cemetery devils who thinks the genre went soft the moment more than two colors were added to album covers. However, I do believe the album will be enjoyed to the umpteenth degree by those who don’t cower in the glorious presence of power metal. So if you happen to be one of those conquering heroes who doesn’t blink an eye when Sargeist and Stratovarius get played back-to-back, be sure to step to the front of the line; these fellows are about to drop one of your favorite albums of 2023.”

• Last Rites review
• Bandcamp

25 WONDERFUL ALBUMS OUTSIDE OF THE HEAVY-HEAVIES THAT HELPED ME PLOW THROUGH 2023

// JAZZ AND RELATIVES //

BILL LAURENCE & MICHAEL LEAGUE – WHERE YOU WISH YOU WERE

It’s difficult to see this album without thinking about Wish You Were Here. Fortunately or unfortunately, Where You Wish You Were has absolutely nothing to do with Pink Floyd and everything to do with loose, chilled jazz that doesn’t really sound like your typical jazz release because it’s delivered entirely by piano and various strummed instruments from a simple duo. So, yeah, a lot of very comforting chords. A lot of very comforting, beautiful chords that make you feel as if you’re on a 40-minute tour of about half the planet, as BL & ML’s influences seem to reach many corners of our globe.

• Genre: Passport stamping piano / geetar mellow jazz
• Bandcamp

ED CHERRY – ARE WE THERE YET?

Ed Cherry has been playing jazz guitar for a very long time, counting greats such as Gillespie, Lonnie Smith, John Patton, Henry Threadgill and Roy Hargrove as collaborators, and often using jazz to sneak in his deep appreciation for classic blues players as well. Are We There Yet? is precisely the sort of record you want to reach for when listening to something a little funky, a little bluesy and a lot bubbly sounds like the best idea you’ve had all day. This dude is forever smooooooth as silk on those frets, and Are We There Yet? is the perfect way to start or end any day on a wonderfully positive note.

• Genre: You can’t bring me down jazz guitar
• Bandcamp

FABIANO DO NASCIMENTO – LENDAS

Can I sell you on a super mellow orchestral Brazilian jazz guitar album without you thinking about the hundreds of times you’ve fallen asleep in your favorite coffee shop’s biggest and coziest chair whilst you were supposed to be working on your resumé? Maybe? Hopefully? Just trust me that you’ll want to gliiiiiide on into Lendas, friend; this record will have you day dreaming about perfectly quiet and still early mornings on some warm, forgotten beachfront, and whatever pesky work you’re supposed to be working on right now can definitely wait another day.

• Genre: Elevator music that will make you want to stay in the elevator for a half hour
• Bandcamp

JOEY ALEXANDER – CONTINUANCE

When I was 10, I spent most of my time watching cartoons, trying to find ways to convince my mom that sugar cereals weren’t that bad, and dreaming about kissing a girl named Kash who sat behind me in 4th grade. When pianist Joey Alexander was 10, he wrote his Grammy-nominated debut album. Isn’t life a pile of magic?

Joey Alexander is now 20, and his sixth album as a leader, Continuance, shows the sort of maturity you’d normally expect from an artist at least twice his age. What the heck does that mean? Well, these songs sound as if he’s already packed away a lifetime of truly ripened experiences—joy, heartache, tenderness, hope and loss, all swirled together into something that very clearly taps straight into Alexander’s big, beautiful heart.

• Genre: Joey Alexander is a 40 year old 20 year old, and he’s very good at jazz
• Bandcamp

LAKECIA BENJAMIN – PHOENIX

The Real Jazz station on Sirius XM is absolutely 100% legit. Full endorsement from yours truly, as I have lost count how many times they’ve brought a new artist under the light that I suddenly find myself obsessing over. This year there were multiple instances where a song would suddenly light up as I was driving along, and when I checked to see who was responsible for all the fun, there was Lakecia Benjamin and Phoenix staring back at me from the display. There’s are so many different and inspiring textures to this wonderful record, not to mention influences flying in from R&B, funk, fusion, rock and whatever else Ms. Benjamin decides to fold into here addictive form of especially fresh-sounding jazz. Weirdly enough, I don’t reach for new saxophonists as often as I used to, but Benjamin is on another level, and Phoenix has become my most listened to jazz album of 2023.

• Genre: POWER jazz
• Bandcamp

MAMMAL HANDS – GIFT FROM THE TREES

I love it when jazz bends the rules like it’s the law. And yes, if you’re flipping through a jazz section of a record store and come across a band called Mammal Hands, you can be pretty certain that, 1) The band does curious things to test the lines, or 2) Someone just stuck the album there because they heard a saxophone on an early song.

Well, Mammal Hands is indeed a jazz trio (piano, drums and multiple forms of reed instruments), but you might also consider them a form of modern chamber music with a loose classical influence that additionally emphasizes a warm improvisational drone. So, somewhere along the lines of a more succinct and systematic form of The Necks? Yeah, that’s the ticket.

• Genre: Chamber jam
• Bandcamp

MESHELL NDEGEOCELLO – THE OMNICHORD REAL BOOK

The Omnichord Real Book is the one jazz release this year that’s closest to challenging Lakecia Benjamin for the top spot in terms of my most played for 2023. If the name somehow manages to be unfamiliar, just know that Meshell Ndegeocello is a great talent who has played with a lot of the greats over a long career, and she uses every ounce of jazz, soul, rock, hip hop and funk to her advantage, particularly on this record. So, yes, Omnichord is one of those albums that gets pushed as jazz, perhaps mainly because it lands via Blue Note, but there are a hundred shades of other styles that Ndegeocello works into her singular vision like a virtuoso sculptor.

Though they really sound nothing alike, I think a very interesting tour package would involve Ndegeocello and Björk sharing a headline spot.

• Genre: Ndegeoeverything
• Sample: “The Atlantiques”

THE HIDEYASU TEREKAWA QUARTET – LIVE, FEATURING HIROSHI FUJI

This is the sort of release that should ping the hell out of the radars for all the collector nerds out there. Introducing Hideyasu Terakawa Quartet—Live—Featuring Hiroshi Fujii was a promotional release only (less than 100 physical copies) from way back in ’78, intended to showcase the talents of, you guessed it, Hideyasu Terakawa, a saxophonist who was just starting to get a foothold in the Japanese scene 50 years ago. The quartet is captured live (duh), playing standards and frisky interpretations of pieces from the likes of Donald Byrd and Wayne Shorter, and because vibes play a heavy role (via Hiroshi Fujii), you can expect the overall tone to be chillllll.

• Genre: Previously only available as a total treasure score you just so happened to find at a local yard sale jazz
• Bandcamp

VALTTERI LAURELL NONET – TIGERS ARE BETTER LOOKING

I think you’d have to work pretty hard to get into a bad mood after listening to an album like Tigers are Better Looking. I find this interesting because the album’s promo copy includes this little tidbit: “…the 6-track album is a »melancholy«, intimate chamber jazz creation.” I have listened to this record countless times since its release back in February, and while I would say there are moments where it does sound fairly introspective, the foremost vibe I most often catch is one of confident righteousness. I guess maybe it’s melancholic for anyone who’s unfamiliar with, say, Xasthur or Warning / 40 Watt Sun, but for me, anytime there’s this much snappy clarinet, I will be be-bopping down the avenue like a guy who just landed a gig as a fluffy puppy inspector.

• Genre: Feelin’ good struttin’ down the road jazz that’s apparently melancholy for some
• Bandcamp

YAZMIN LACEY – VOICE NOTES

2023 has been a particularly great year for artists that dance the line between multiple genres, and Voice Notes absolutely fits into that category. Yazmin Lacey clearly finds influence from all manner of deep, notably emotional singers across multiple eras, from Nina Simone to Roberta Flack to Marvin Gaye to Erykah Badu, and she wraps all her influences into a wonderfully fresh and relaxed form of soulful, funky jazz that feels very live and “sitting right next you.” Clocking in at a rather robust one hour, Voice Notes ain’t exactly an abridged journey, but there are well enough shifts in texture and style that the record never feels like it’s overstaying its welcome.

• Genre: All things that make you feel welcome and warm jazz
• Bandcamp

YUSSEF DAYES – BLACK CLASSICAL MUSIC

Yep, yet another jazz album that manages to cover a LOT of stylistic ground. Though I would also remark that there’s well enough of a “get up and strut” form of jazz displayed on Black Classical Music that I can’t help but think of an artist like Gil Scott-Heron while the album glides along. In fact, close your eyes as some of these cuts play and you can almost hear Scott-Heron’s poetic force improvising electric lines from the aether, which is of course never a bad thing. Anyway, Yussef Dayes clearly has a terrifically adventurous heart and mind, and knowing that his vision for this, his first solo full-length, is inspired entirely by a foundation that emphasizes “family over everything,” it’s clear why the end result always comes from a place of unconditional love and happiness, no matter what style he decides to lean on from one song to the next.

• Genre: Hey, maybe life and times in the modern age isn’t all that bad
• Bandcamp

// ELECTRONIC AND KIN //

NIECY BLUES – EXIT SIMULATION

It wasn’t just jazz that scored big with genre bending in 2023. Exit Simulation, the debut full-length from NC artist Heather “Niecy Blues” Sinclair, pulls elements of R&B, trip hop and gospel under an ashen lens of washed out ambient to carve a curvy-crinkly journey that’s as blurred and faraway as a desperately dated polaroid. An R&B variant of Grouper? Lauryn Hill distilled through laudanum? Spectral visitations in some forgotten, tumbledown church? All of the above, for certain. And discovering that Sinclair spent her youth ensconced in a religious cult somewhere in Oklahoma only serves to amplify the overall eeriness of this wonderfully trippy adventure.

• Genre: What are these funny mushrooms in the collection plate?
• Bandcamp

THE INWARD CIRCLES – BEFORE WE LIE DOWN IN DARKNESSE

Ambient artist Richard Skelton is a master of finding ways to make listeners think differently (and at times, more positively) about decay. His Inward Circles project, for example, has used Skelton’s signature form of drift to explore the collapse and deterioration of the human form in a very literal sense, but this record—his first under the TIC banner in six years—takes things a step further by stretching / metamorphosing / looping a six-second fragment from a “discarded fifty-year-old vinyl recording of Baroque recorder music that Skelton discovered in the Scottish Borders” in an attempt to depict humankind’s ongoing struggle with personal and environmental decay. The results are… well, dark, but not entirely deprived of hope.

• Genre: Dark ambient for doomsday clock watchers
• Bandcamp

RYUICHI SAKAMOTO – 12

“From now on, I will be living alongside cancer,” remarked the amazing Ryuichi Sakamoto amidst the pandemic and leading into the sessions that would ultimately yield 12, his fifteenth and final recording. Two months after its release, Sakamoto would very unfortunately pass away. For certain, extraordinarily heavy circumstances to pin on a record. And 12 absolutely does feel quite heavy, despite doing so in an extraordinarily sparse and naked sort of way. What I find fascinating, though, is the fact that I never manage to walk away from a 12 listening session feeling outright depressed, or with the notion that its purpose was expressly intended to vent pure sorrow. Sure, it’s emotionally heavy—how could it not be—but those soft and often thin notes quietly lifting from Sakamoto’s piano carry with them a strange sense of calm awareness. There is no fear of finality here, just an understanding that one particular chapter is coming to an end.

• Genre: No one gets to live forever, friend
• Sample: “20220123”

TIM HECKER – NO HIGHS

Every piece of press I’ve seen concerning No Highs has emphasized words such as “imposing,” “discomforting” and even “feel bad vibes.” Hell, even Hecker himself said this of the record’s overall intention: “…a beacon of unease against the deluge of false positive corporate ambient.” Maybe I have a screw loose somewhere inside the ol’ medulla oblongata, but I find this record calming, heartening and maybe even a little… tuneful? Particularly amidst the moments where collaborator Colin Stetson’s modal sax takes the spotlight. I mean, it’s Tim Hecker, so there’s always a good bit of glitchy-grim grayness afoot, but something about No Highs also conveys a sense of confident readiness for whatever might loom ahead.

• Genre: One person’s unease is another person’s confidence, I guess
• Bandcamp

// ROCK AND FRIENDS //

EDENA GARDENS – AGAR

My first encounter with Edena Gardens’ Agar back in April lead to the following knee-jerk description to a fellow Last Riter: It sounds like an ideal mix of The Dirty Three, latter era Earth and a touch of Colour Haze. And hello how do you do, Agar still reminds me of that now eight months later.

This album is as trippy as a crystal convention in Sedona, but it’s also as relaxed as an entirely unhurried afternoon spent stretched out on soft grass, so there are no worries about being followed around by some sour smelling acid wizard doling out sage healer advice. Agar drifts across the brainpan like a scene from the desert at night: glinting lights wash across the great open sky, night-blooming cacti stimulate the ol’ olfactory factory, and the soft drone of cicadas jibe perfectly with the content hummmmmm of a thoroughly blissed out mind.

• Genre: Hey, brother, spare some blisssssssss?
• Sample: “Veil”

TEMPLE OF ANGELS – ENDLESS PURSUIT

Most everything about Endless Pursuit feels very “Rough Trade Records circa early ‘90s.” Shimmery dream pop along the lines of the Cocteau Twins will likely stand as the most obvious association, but instead of spending the full 40 minutes simply drifting atop moony waves, Temple of Angels loves folding in an abundance of bygone alt-rock / post-punk consistent with works from bands such as The Church, Throwing Muses and The Sundays. The results are every bit as dreamy as you might hope, but also full of grippable hooks that keep the album grounded and notably tactile.

• Genre: 120 Minutes beautifully bundled into a tidy 40 minutes
• Bandcamp

MATTEO MANCUSO – THE JOURNEY

One look at this album cover and you’ll probably be left thinking about a point-of-purchase rack near the front counter of a Sonoma County winery gift shop. Not that there’s anything wrong with that—we all need a little Carlos Nakai and Kitarō in our lives, amirite? Well, maybe not. Good news, though! The Journey doesn’t really sound like something mostly meant to provide a soundtrack to swishing a jammy zinf around in your mouth. Or maybe it does? Would that be so bad? The easiest way to describe Matteo Mancuso’s overall style here would be this: Smooth shred. Wait, smooth shred?? Like… Joe Satriani after a 3 hour tour of the Francis Ford Coppola Winery, including a pint glass of Archimedes Malbec? Bingo, bub.

• Genre: Don’t be stingy with that Cab Sauv pour, buddy
• Bandcamp

XYLOURIS WHITE – THE FOREST IN ME

I surely do miss The Dirty Three something powerful, as it’s been at least ten years since the trio has gifted us with another long player. Luckily, there’s such a strong improvisational sense associated with their brand of jangly instrumental desert rock that I can revisit their discography a near infinite amount of times without feeling as if I’m retreading the same path time and time again. Still, I just miss SEEING new stuff pop up from the band.

WELL WAIT JUST A DAG-BLANGED MINUTE, maybe I’ll just try this here Xylouris White album on for size! How did I not know that Dirty Three drummer Jim White had a project like this on his resumé? For this endeavor, White pairs up with lute luminary George Xylouris from Greece, and the results aren’t that far off from the off-the-cuffery of White’s mainstay, just a little more sparse ’n’ loose.

• Genre: That old metal wind vane out back could use a little oil. Maybe tomorree…
• Bandcamp

POISON RUÏN – HÄRVEST

I’m actually kind of a bastard when it comes to goth-inspired albums from metal labels that tons of battle vest lords trumpet on and on about as “the best goth album of the year.” Too many of the bands end up missing the mark because their harder edge is largely rooted in a polished form of metal, and I much prefer the heavier side of gothic music to be built on a deathrock foundation that underscores rude and raw punk. Well, Philly’s Poison Ruïn once again rides full force directly into my heart with 30 minutes of hostile deathrock that’s as cold as a Finnish hammer, and you should definitely pay attention if you prefer your post-punk to hit like a locust plague.

• Genre: A deathrock soundtrack for getting trampled by a pale horse
• Bandcamp

SLOWDIVE – EVERYTHING IS ALIVE

Hopefully Slowdive needs little-to-no introduction for basically anyone who makes a habit of lurking our planet’s record bins. These guys have been emissaries of all things shoegaze / dream pop / indie rock for over three decades now, and their most recent activity sparked through their magnificent self-titled return to the spotlight in 2017 re-set the bar for this, their fifth full-length. What I wasn’t expecting, however, was a record that continues to shine so brightly amidst repeated returns that I’m starting to wonder if it might eventually eclipse the seemingly uneclipseable Souvlaki. Yet, here we are. Everything is Alive is an extremely Slowdived record, but an added electronic edge to the corners gives everything a more modern upgrade, which is precisely what the doctor ordered. (My doctor apparently has great taste in music.)

• Genre: Slowdive doing Slowdive better than they’ve ever done before?
• Bandcamp

// COUNTRY AND WESTERN //

COLTER WALL – LITTLE SONGS

Hi! Most popular modern country is horseshit—a truth made even more humorous by virtue of the fact that most every one of them bogus buckaroos probably wouldn’t know actual horseshit unless it was introduced as a new flavor of Whiteclaw.

Thankfully, we still have authentic cowboys making legitimate country & western music out there, and for sure Colter Wall is one artist helping to lead the way. Wall’s is a style that sidesteps superfluous bells and whistles in favor of stark charm, and that allows for his deep and desperately soulful voice to spin all manner of narratives under the sun, from playful coyote play to the bottomless abyss of deep drug addiction. With full-length number four, Wall lightens the mood a fair bit compared to previous releases, mostly shelving the dark dirges that all but demand solitude in favor of delivering 30 minutes of swinging ditties well suited for sharing with your buddies down at some perfectly shitholed bar.

• Genre: Country music that’ll set fire to bullshit buckaroos
• Sample: “Evangelina”

// CLASSICAL AND COMRADES //

ARVO PÄRT – TRACTUS

I’m guessing Arvo Pärt has no clue what epic doom is, but an album like Tractus makes me desperately want to believe that he has a hidden stash of Candlemass and Sorcerer albums stowed away in some cozy Estonian cottage. I mean, this is an hour’s worth of chamber choir and strings, soaring (“O Key of David”) and peacefully dooming (“O King of All People”) with equal force, so it’s not terribly difficult to picture a fellow like Messiah Marcolin perched on the prow of a ship with a notably golden figurehead guiding his way through the dense fog. Tractus is absolutely beautiful from stem to stern, and Pärt’s overall intention to provide a prayer for peace very literally could not come at a more opportune time.

• Genre: Get your prayer on, pal
• Sample: “Littlemore Tractus”

AWADAGIN PRATT, A FAR CRY & ROOMFUL OF TEETH – STILLPOINT

Stillpoint is a HEAVY album. Like, whatever exists as classical music’s equivalent to the Sunlight Studio “chainsaw” sound, Awadagin Pratt has it figured out. Case in point, the force he puts on these keys throughout Stillpoint could blow a hole through a brick wall if an HM-2 pedal ever found its way into the blueprint. That said, the album doesn’t actually feel overly dark or severe, it’s just… BOOM: YOUR FULL ATTENTION IS REQUIRED RIGHT NOW. And of course Pratt balances that thunderously luminous energy with an abundance of hushed drift, too, which only magnifies those GREAT BIG moments.

Basically, if you’re looking for a fully engrossing classical piece to mirror an hour long battle scene cooked up in your brain, Stillpoint absolutely has you covered. Side note: I love the album cover, but wouldn’t it be grand to see a Seagrave interpretation?

• Genre: CLASSICAL MUSIC GOES BOOM
• Bandcamp

ZSÓFIA BOROS – EL ÚLTIMO ALIENTO

Let us now gather around this quiet fire together and put this protracted list to rest on the prettiest and most enchanting note possible. El último aliento is Hungarian classical guitarist Zsófia Boros’s third record, and her intention here is to reimagine a series of compositions from mostly Argentinian composers via nothing but a guitar and her incredibly talented fingers.

Boros’ tone is impossibly clean and clear, allowing the full capacity of her skill as a fret sorceress to nimbly paint the most beautiful and tranquil landscapes a sentient being could ever hope to encounter. There is simply no way you could depart from these 40 minutes without feeling perfectly serene, sunny and fully capable of shielding yourself from the endless barrage of negativity the modern age insists on casting our way at nearly every opportunity. Put simply, El último aliento is an arrow you absolutely need in your quiver if you’re in desperate need of unwinding.

• Genre: Rest here beside me and the warm fire, friend
• Sample: “Le labyrinthe de Vermeer”

/2023

Posted by Captain

Last Rites Co-Owner; Senior Editor; That was my skull!

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