All posts by Captain

Last Rites Co-Owner; Senior Editor; I got the Wordle in 1 guess; Just get evil all the time.

Human Corpse Abuse – Xenoviscerum Review

[Cover artwork by Jose Gabriel Angeles] Take a journey with me, my fellow grizzled riff-gluttons who’d likely rather bong all the world’s remaining Schlitz wounded soldiers in lieu of sacrificing an original Effigy of the

Sonja – Loud Arriver Review

Long, long ago—even before the days when the lonesome warble of AOL’s “You’ve got mail!” swept through the wilds of the heartlands—goths and metal freaks shared an equitable “the enemy of my enemy is my

Mortuous – Upon Desolation Review

[Album artwork by Marald van Haasteren] “Death… The brutal way.” ~ Emily Dickinson Or was that Asphyx. Definitely Asphyx. But it could just as easily have been both. Probably both. Either way, Pow!! Right in

Blind Guardian – The God Machine Review

[Cover artwork by Peter Mohrbacher] Here are three potential reasons you probably don’t need to read a mess of words concerning The God Machine: 1) If you’re already a Blind Guardian fan, you will buy

Phantom Spell – Immortal’s Requiem Review

[Cover artwork courtesy of SeventhBell] The escape element hitched to so much of heavy metal has long been one of its most valuable windfalls. Sure, a fair portion of it manages to trek paths worn

A-Z – A-Z Review

[Cover artwork by Hugh Syme] Let’s go ahead and address the elephant in the room right from the jump. Or, as anyone with at least one functioning eye can see, the zebra in the room

Castrator – Defiled In Oblivion Review

[Cover artwork by the inimitable Jon Zig] I’ll be honest and quickly admit the following right from the jump: For reasons having zero to do with the actual quality of the release, I have spent

Diamonds & Rust: Sepultura – Beneath The Remains

[Cover artwork: Nightmare in Red, by the incomparable Michael Whelan] It’s a wild and wonderful world that accommodates a single band that not only finds great success playing contrasting styles of heavy music, but they