All posts by Captain

Last Rites Co-Owner; Senior Editor; Handsome & Interesting Man; Just get evil all the time.

Mortuous – Through Wilderness Review

Let’s talk about putridity, friend. More specifically, whether or not you enjoy putridity enough to celebrate it in your life. You may think you do, considering the fact that you once managed to sit through

Iron Cemetery – Iron Cemetery EP Review

Who would’ve guessed that the key to making a top-shelf death/thrash record might involve fun. You remember fun—that thing that occasionally happens after getting yelled at by your boss, getting yelled at by the internet,

YOB – Our Raw Heart Review

More often than not, the intimate details fueling the creation of an album are unknown to listeners. It makes sense, really, because art is meant to be personal, and a great deal of its interpretation

Age Of Taurus – The Colony Slain Review

It’s no secret that the apple that is doom metal has fallen moderately out of the public eye. Yes, America is still in love with Pallbearer and his brother, Darryl, and his other brother, Darryl,

Amorphis – Queen Of Time Review

Let’s nail something home right from the jump: Amidst the ever-expanding ranks of heavy metal groups currently and constantly competing for collective ears, Amorphis ranks at or very near the top with regard to those

Aura Noir – Aura Noire Review

Beauty is for fools! A cruel hallucination! Flowers grow in excrement, swans will bite you square in the choad and/or chonch, and that Hollywood dreamboat you’ve obsessed over for years spends as much time on

Diamonds & Rust: Dr. Know – Wreckage In Flesh

I don’t normally prefer to talk about myself in reviews, but Diamonds & Rust is one of those features that affords the Last Rites blockheads an opportunity to get a little more personal while dredging

Judicator – The Last Emperor Review And Premier Of “The Queen Of All Cities”

Let’s get an indisputable fact out of the way early: if you don’t occasionally find yourself drifting to the other side to follow the blind somewhere far beyond into the twilight world in order to