All posts by Old Guard

The retired elite of LastRites/MetalReview.

We All Die (Laughing) – Thoughtscanning Review

Originally written by Ian Chainey We All Die (Laughing) – henceforth referred to as WADL, because…yeah – is a two-man collaboration between vocal chameleon Arnaud Strobl (Carnival of Coal) and multi-instrument genius Déhà (loads, like

Prostitute Disfigurement – From Crotch To Crown Review

Originally written by Ian Chainey Prostitute Disfigurement is a recently-resurrected brutal death metal band releasing its fifth album, From Crotch to Crown, on Willowtip. And, really, that’s enough data to formulate your best guess regarding

Killing Joke And Dub – And Red Pills And Blue Pills

Originally written by Ian Chainey Killing Joke‘s recently released In Dub remix collection is a monster. Taking cuts from across their career, on-again-off-again-on-again-and-on-and-on bassist Martin “Youth” Glover has done a yeoman’s job of stitching together

Major Kong – Doom Machine Review

originally written by Erik Highter BF-OR. Big Fuck-Off Riffs. It’s all Major Kong is about, and their second full-length album, Doom Machine, is a mission statement. As soon as the sample ends at the beginning

Corpsessed – Abysmal Thresholds Review

Originally written by Chris Redar It’s of the understanding of this writer that Finland’s Corpsessed are being slept on based on the incredible silliness of their chosen moniker. And to be fair, that is a ridiculous name.

Primal Fear – Delivering The Black Review

Originally written by Ian Chainey Germany’s Primal Fear is a project plated with a metal attracting the lightning bolts of ire from young cumulonimbi riding high on the winds of change. (Admission: Specific instances of

Grand Magus – Triumph And Power Review

originally written by Kyle Harcott “Hao! Dai ye! We won again! This is good, but what is best in life?” “The open steppe, fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, and the wind in your hair.”

Warfather – Orchestrating The Apocalypse Review

Originally written by Chris Redar So Steve Tucker’s throwing his hat back into the ring with Warfather, a multinational death metal cavalcade featuring such stunning pseudonyms as…Deimos! Avgvstvs! Armatura!…and…that’s it, actually. I’ve got to tell you,