All posts by Old Guard

The retired elite of LastRites/MetalReview.

Rumpelstiltskin – Grinder Ghostmaker Review

Originally written by Jordan Campbell It’d be easy to dismiss a band like Rumpelstiltskin Grinder. Their lackluster debut record, Buried in the Front Yard, didn’t do much to lend credibility to these absurdly-monikered Pennsylvanians. Plus,

Superchrist – Holy Shit Review

Originally written by Rae Amitay There’s a Finnish power trio operating under the Superchrist moniker, but I’d hate to see what would happen if they went toe-to-steel-toe with these Chicago natives. The Superchrist behind Holy

Poison Tongues – Aeon

In this bimonthly column, staff writer Doug Moore takes a very close look at extreme metal lyrics. Some will be serious, some will be silly, but they’ll all go under the microscope. Extreme metal has

Enthrallment – People From The Lands Of Vit Review

Originally written by Ian Chainey You’ve no doubt read the old cliché critics like to trot out to assuage a potential hatchet job: “…but, they’re probably really nice guys.” Sometimes, it’s just a shuck and

Ne Obliviscaris – Portal of I Review

Originally written by Ramar Pittance There are two totally valid arguments to be made about Portal of I, the ambitious full length debut from Australia’s Ne Obliviscaris. There’s the one that I am pre-disposed to make. That

Cattle Decapitation – Monolith Of Inhumanity Review

Originally written by Matt Longo We like to compartmentalize — it’s only human. Without it, our brains would just overload, so this is where things like prejudices, stereotypes, assumptions and the like give us advanced

Face Of Oblivion – The Embers Of Man Review

Originally written by Ian Chainey You’re happily digging through a record store’s crates. While you peruse the dollar bin, you notice the media formats slowly devolving the farther you move to the left; first CDs,

The Wretched End – Inroads Review

Originally written by Jordan Campbell To the dismay of those that don’t boast an affinity for professional wrestling storylines from the early 90’s, I’ve often stated that Samoth is the Marty Jannetty to Ihsahn’s Shawn