Synopsis:
GUITAR GODZ versus the music fans…
Short Review:
If you really like the sound of solos, this is your crack. The guy can definitely solo. But the pieces lack anything that makes metal cool apart from solos. I wouldn’t buy it.
Rant Filled Review: (you were warned, asshole)
If there is a form of music I suppose I will never truly understand, it would have to be the GUITAR GODZ album. And experimental jazz. But I don’t have to review experimental jazz.
There MUST be an audience. I have never met anyone who buys these things, yet guitar godz keep putting them out. It’s not as bad as the heyday of Vais and Satrianis, but they are still out there, so someone must still be buying them. And there is a good argument to be made that they are metal records, because metal bands still use the guitar godz style of playing. It’s part of the foundation, after all! I mean, Ozzy without Randy Roads? Van Halen’s early material without Eddie? Rainbow without Blackmore?
BUT.
I don’t give a shit.
Curt Shaw can really play the guitar well. He has made 11 self congratulatory masturbation audios to prove it. Good job Curt. Apparently there are some people who questioned your magnificent guitar godding abilities. Hopefully this record will silence those critics so you can get back to making music with some kind of relevancy to anyone other than your mom and other guitar godz. As a metal fan and critic I can say you would be a welcome addition to any metal act. But I am not going to tell anyone to buy this fucking record. It’s a great audio resume; it is NOT a great piece of musical entertainment any more than my drafting resume (…or my review…) is a great piece of literature.
In essence this is a combination of rocked-up classical guitar playing and power metal soloing. The classically flavored pieces are interesting enough, although a little disjointed compositionally. But that may have been the aim. I don’t know.”Grass“, something of a roots ditty, is probably the only cut on this thing I would want to hear after this review is over. The power metal pieces are not so good. Nevermind the utter lack of emotional delineation caused by the uncompensated vacancy of a singer. The drumming is lackluster and occasionally atrocious. The bass is …Jesus, why do I even discuss bass players? Find him and win a jar of apricot preserves. The keyboardist is power metally; makes you crave something a little harder rocking, like Devo. And the guitars are fanfuckinggreattastic blah blah blah.
But to what end? It means nothing if, in the final analysis, there is no “there” there. If I hate whiny teenaged Grey Matter wannabe assholes because they lack the talent to make great music, I hate self fondling autococksuckers who put out records of nothing but their own shined up dicks even more. At least the no talent hacks throw some real emotion into their derivative, used up whorish songs. Rock is about being a teenager who doesn’t realize shit is not pudding yet. But this? This record is nothing more or less than a sequinned jacket without the Elvis.
Bottom line: if you are interested in this kind of record stop coming to this site. Want to hear a great guitar player playing guitar a whole fucking lot? Fly to your local retailer and procure this masterpiece of triviality. Want to own a recording of moving, exciting, inspiring guitar goddish music? Diary of a Madman, Fair Warning and Rising.
