Two Bands Enter, One Band Leaves! – Screamer Vs. Züül

Welcome to the first installment of what could end up being a continuing effort around the Last Rites camp. The general idea behind your typical “VS.” is obviously pretty self explanatory, but as far as we’re concerned, it represents a fairly straight-forward platform for dissecting two similarly wrought slabs of iron competing for attention/bucks during an age when new releases rumble down the conveyor belt faster than shart phones at a Chinese poop factory.

In a perfect world, we’d all be able to afford every release that ends up tickling our nether-regions, but we have bills to pay, booze to swill, shows to attend, significant others to woo or placate, etc., so discretion is often required when determining how best to distribute the scant shekels we all fight like dogs to hobble together every month. And really, what better way to put two competing albums to the test than forcing them to fight to the death within the merciless confines of The Ring, The Cage, The Pit, or in this case: under a playground structure in front of Tina Turner and hundreds of scraggly hobos.

Future bouts could very well feature a few out-right smack-downs, some trickster powders sneakily blown into opponent’s eyes, or any manner of other fair and not-so-fair play, but foray numero uno happens to be a particularly clean and well-fought match between two fairly young bands offering up new takes on an old style that smacks heavily of ye olde New Wave of British Heavy Metal. The New New Wave of British Heavy Metal That’s Not Necessarily Produced in Britain but Sounds Like it Could Have Flourished in That Specific Region During That Particular Period in Heavy Metal’s History. The NNWOBHMTNNPIBBSLICHFITSRDTPPIHMH.

Snap-judging based purely on cover artwork alone, the advantage quickly leans toward Züül‘s To the Frontlines, thanks to Brad Moore’s tastefully precise representation of what nearly every teen Metal Lord in the 80s attempted to depict on their paper bag-covered Social Studies book. Go ahead and keep prattling on about the philosophy of liberty while I work out the details for the hilt of this sweet Bastard Sword. And check out that forsaken rider across the river who’s missing out on all the action. Poor, poor fellow. Can you hear his lonesome cry on the wind? “SAVE A KOBOLD FOR ME!” The cover for Screamer‘s Phoenix ain’t bad, but it’s no AD&D Module, that’s for sure.

Underneath the hood, however, we’ve got a wealth of favorable elements flexed by each contender that results in a remarkably well-proportioned ruckus. Both bands lean heavily on arseloads of fiery, well-played leads and a foundation that’s clearly built on the melodic dual guitar wizardry perfected by endless stacks of 80s progenitors. I’d say Screamer plies a more brazen display of outright Maidenisms throughout, whereas Züül offers up a slighly sunnier, more hard-rocked edge akin to elder Tygers of Pan Tang or Jaguar.

To the Frontlines hits the ground running with a couple beautiful belters in “Show No Mercy” and “Guillotine” (love that filthy, filthy riff at the onset), but Phoenix very nearly sneaks off with an unexpectedly quick decapitation because of the sheer strength behind opener “Demon Rider” and the insanely infectious slow creeper, “No Regrets,” and also due to the fact that “Far Away from Home” could very well stand as one of this year’s primary candidates for Most Rousing (and again, insanely contagious) Metal Anthem once 2013 eventually ends in a fiery hail of meteors and blood-thirsty Mayans striking from beyond the grave. Sure, it’s repetitive, but it hits and hits and hits like a left and a right and left again – to the dirt with thee:

But the momentum shifts once the midpoint of each album strikes. Screamer‘s “No Sleep till Hamilton” sounds like a beauty of a hybrid between old Priest and Shout at the Devil era Crüe, but it could use just a little more of a shot in the arm to drive the spike home, particularly when stacked up against such a hugely ballsy rocker like Züül‘s great “Heavy Lover.” Honestly, what chance does any band have against a tune that flashes lyrics like “don’t care for your eyes, just the size of your thighs – tonight I wanna ride that heavy lover.” You will push the very limits of speed when cranking this sucker in your ’99 Nissan Sentra:

A clear victor does indeed stand once the dust of battle finally clears, however. Despite additionally flashing quite the strong title cut, Phoenix simply falls short of matching the second half stamina of To the Frontlines, particularly with regard to the longer cuts that blend in brief bits of mellowness. “Mr Noman” and “Lady of the River” can’t help but topple after running head-on with Züül‘s beautifully dusty/sorta ‘high-plains drifter’ instrumental “Of the Fallen” before it launches into two completely epic closers: “Bounty Land” and the fantastically misnamed “Waste of Time.”

Ultimately, I think any person who’s into pure & fiery traditional metal will dig Phoenix or To the Frontlines; both bands do a great job of paying homage to the grand forebearers while still maintaining a clear vestige of originality. Züül‘s offering just so happens to do it with a touch more variety over a greater extent of its minutes. Endurance is key when you step under the dome, folks, and To the Frontlines represents a full 44-minutes of elbow-strikes, eye-gouges and kicks to the softspots with essentially zero holding back.

TO THE VICTOR GO THE SPOILS…