Originally written by Jordan Campbell
Happy Independence Day, Planet Earth. Today, the fifty United States of America (and probably Guam and Puerto Rico or whatever) will celebrate our liberation from taxation without representation (hmm…) by consuming macrobrews, burning hunks of meat, and blowing shit up.
Overall, it’s a pretty goofy event, unless you’re sharing it with good people. And if you’re sharing it with good people, you might as well share some good jams with them, right?
In the spirit of ’76 or something, here are eleven tributes to the glory of the Red, White, and Blue…
• • •
NAPALM DEATH – MULTINATIONAL CORPORATIONS
Sharing the glory of America with your favorite people is a wonderful thing. And since corporations are people, too, buying shit is like one giant party! Unless you have ovarian cysts or something, ’cause no goddamn government can tell your boss to what to do.
Seriously, though, let’s get this party started!
CARNIVORE – USA FOR USA
“Oh, you don’t like my FREEDOM? Then PACK YOUR SHIT AND LEAVE.”
The best thing about Retaliation / Slow Deep and Hard-era Pete is that he hadn’t quite mastered the art of wry sarcasm. He grew more subtle as he grew older, making the listener work for their witticisms, but back in ’87, he was basically like, “fuck you, you’re dumb.”
This song will make you consume all of the beers. Or all the Jack Daniel’s and pizza.
DRI – GIVE MY TAXES BACK
This is the weirdest anti-government punk song ever. This would be your Reagan-voting great-uncle’s favorite pit-starter.
“I don’t want my taxes being spent on SCIENCE. Give me my money back!”
There’s a whole lot of things to be pissed about other than the Space Race (which techincally ended thirteen years before this song was written), but we’ll just chalk this one up to naivety.
WORMROT – LOST SWINES
Tax expeditures that are worrisome than NASA: Welfare (get a job), food stamps (get a job), unemployment (get a job), public transporation (get a job and a car and some insurance and a mechanic), the gradual militarization of our police force…
Wait, what…? WE NEED TO PROTECT OUR FREEDOMS, DAMMIT
ASSÜCK – STATE TO STATE
A country’s cry for solidarity goes disregarded, while ruling nationalist chauvinism turns state against state.
“Dude, can’t we just listen to Lee Greenwood? Or some BRUTAL GORE SLAMZ?”
MAGRUDERGRIND – THE PRICE OF LIVING BY DELINQUENT IDEALS
Politicians are awful! Let’s whine about it on Facebook!
DEVIN TOWNSEND – CANADA
Maybe it’s time to just chill out, fire up a bowl, and come to grips with the possibility that Canada just might be doing it better than we are.
STEVE STEVENS – TOP GUN ANTHEM
Pffft. Does Canada have FIGHTER JETS and AIRCRAFT CARRIERS and VOLLEYBALL?
I didn’t think so. Long live America.
