All posts by Old Guard

The retired elite of LastRites/MetalReview.

Hymen Holocaust – Necromance Review

Originally written by Jeremy Garner Hymen Holocaust is the solo project of Maurice “Cliteater” of take a wild guess, Cliteater. I’ve never been a big fan of Cliteater nor am I a big fan of

The Chuck Norris Experiment – The Chuck Norris Experiment Review

Originally written by Jeremy Garner “When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.” “Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger,

Dark Funeral – De Profundis Clamavi Ad Te Domine Review

Originally written by Patrick Dawson Following a delightful and speedy introduction in Español courtesy of some Chilean in the know, the same diabolic entrance track this band has been using for years plays and to

Cripple Bastards – Desperately Insensitive (Reissue) Review

Originally written by Jeremy Garner I really can’t recall ever seeing more compilations, splits, and 7” releases in my life. Hell, their back catalogue has more songs than grind sensations Agoraphobic Nosebleed. Originally released in

Saxon – Dogs of War (Reissue)

Originally written by Chris Chellis. With an uncompromising hard rock aesthetic, Saxon released Dogs of War in 1995 and it has now been re-released with live editions of Dogs of War’s “The Great White Buffalo” and the classic “Denim &

Fleshless – To Kill For Skin Review

Originally written by Jeremy Garner Somehow, someway, despite the fact that this is the fifth release from Czech death metal heroes Fleshless, despite the fact that I own enough CD’s to become a record store

Katatonia – The Great Cold Distance Review

Originally written by Jason Jordan. Perhaps the finest attribute of Katatonia is their fail-proof consistency. Before I dig into a new studio album from these Swedes, I always ask myself the following question: so just how good

Callenish Circle – [Pitch.Black.Effects] Review

Originally written by Ben Graves. Callenish Circle’s ability to create a distinctive sound in a genre that’s so flooded with hacks and pretenders is without a doubt one of their greatest achievements. Put Pitch.Black.Effects side by side