Cobweb – Cobweb EP Review

[Cobweb Logo by Tanya Finder]

As an individual who’s spent the better part of the last four decades venerating and meditating over the works of Mercyful Fate (and King Diamond), I have made my stance on imitators fairly clear over the years: Best to leave it alone, because the formula is entirely unique and there’s really no safety net if you botch one or more of the necessary cauldron ingredients. Take a couple elements as primary influences similar to, say, early In Solitude? Yeah, that can work. Nail that cold, cavernous upside-down church vibe the way the Negative Plane debut did back in 2006? Definitely on board with that. Take things one or three steps further like Portrait, Attic or Them? Nowwww I’m starting to get itchy. To be clear, I understand why people dig such crews, but I’ll stick with the magick meteor strikes at ground zero from King & amigos because there’s a lot of it, all of it ranks from good-to-perfection, and I happen to be a loyalist chud.

Right. So, Oakland, CA’s freshly minted Cobweb is clearly obsessed with Mercyful Fate. What they do very flipping right, though—which quickly (and thankfully) assuaged my anxiety inside its earliest moments—is rooted in the way this introductory EP launches from the dark like some lost raw Fate demo circa 1982. Like, holy shit do I ever wish King could hear something like this and suddenly remember that getting down to the business of rocking like your comped drink tickets depend on it far eclipses 666 layers of studio sparkles and being the textbook definition of a fusspot. Attack your instruments and microphones like they’re trying to hide the secrets to eternal life, and do so from what sounds like some sort of eeeeevil crypt that’s surrounded in cold, unforgiving stone and septic lichen.

This is a 25-minute EP with three songs, so each track is long and fairly knotty in a “Satan’s Fall” kind of way, even if opener “Mourning Blood” eventually tromps out a quiet interlude that sounds 2 degrees shy of a much more sinister “Rime of the Ancient Mariner” segue.

Again, this is clearly motivated by early Fate cave drawings, so take a healthy measure of the punkier side of the NWOBHM, add several shakes of the next level of extreme that upped the intricacy and tacked a handwringing form of fiendishness to the formula, and finish it all off by pounding ten metric tonnes of fiery melody on top of it all. So, expect 90º turns from hot rockin’ into genuine heaviness, usually at the behest of a grubby riff breakout, and get ready for loads and loads of torrid lead battles that, if I’m honest, attach the most satisfying Fate-ism to this little kick-ass EP. Point of fact related to that last detail: Of all the bands that have attempted a similar pathway as this, it is Cobweb that manages to conjure the authentic spirit of that classic Denner / Shermann interplay, thanks to guitarists Mike Flory and Sam Edelman’s excellent soloing up and down these 25 minutes.

Regarding the vocals, I would say Alex Kalpakoff does a really good job of capturing the vibe of early King, but I appreciate how he manages to sound like—and I hope this doesn’t come across unfavorably—a huskier version of KD: More emphasis on the sinister lows than the falsetto, and with enough gravel in the delivery to make the listener wonder if he could just as easily front a band like Scissorfight (Balls Deep!) or Orange Goblin. It works!

Nuts and bolts: If you appreciate classic sinister heavy metal with heaps of lead battles and a vibe that underscores loads of nuns having absolutely ZERO fun, the debut EP from Cobweb will absolutely launch itself into your fiery playlist.