All posts by Captain

Last Rites Co-Owner; Senior Editor; Handsome & Interesting Man; Just get evil all the time.

Reverend Bizarre – III: So Long Suckers Review

There is a very wise Chinese proverb that states, “If you must play, decide on three things at the onset: the rules of the game, the stakes, and the quitting time.” Ancient Chinese secret, huh?

Helcaraxë – Triumph And Revenge Review

It certainly wouldn’t be surprising to see any of the 2007 efforts from Nile, Immolation or Mithras hit death metal enthusiasts’ top-ten lists at year-end, but New Jersey’s dyad of vìkingr’s, Helcaraxë (Helcar-AK-say: from Tolkien’s

Candlemass – King Of The Grey Islands Review

The best way I can think to summarize my feelings about King Of The Grey Islands is to compare its release with the Christmas I experienced back around 1981. It was a year when all

King Diamond – Give Me Your Soul…Please Review

Find me another artist who polarizes metal fans more than King Diamond, and I’ll eat my damned hat. And while you’re at it, if you can deliver more than a handful of people who’ve seen

Pale Divine – Cemetery Earth Review

With an impressive catalogue of releases already tendered, and an ever-growing pile of exceptional bands constantly being added to their roster, Sweden’s I HATE Records has earned themselves a stately position amongst few others as

Necros Christos – Triune Impurity Rites Review

I like my death metal how I like my cavewomen: filthy, filthy and fil-thay. Give me death metal that sounds like it was birthed from a flat-headed, hammer-jawed mongoloid from Hell who spends half his

Threshold – Dead Reckoning Review

The following snippet was pulled directly off Nuclear Blast’s latest ad banner for the ninth full-length release from Threshold: “For fans of Dream Theater, Nevermore and Edge of Sanity” Hmmm, interesting. The Dream Theater reference

Arcana Coelestia – Ubi Secreta Colunt Review

Alchemy, mysticism, paranoia, neuroticism, and human suffering: all choice elements found within the scrawlings of a book entitled Inferno – courtesy of Sweden’s premiere author/playwright/chemist/chemical dabbler of yore, Johan August Strindberg – and also the