Ghoul – Hang Ten Review

Originally written by Chris Redar

Ghoul has an EP of surf rock/metal hybrid songs. It’s fun for about a minute, and then it pretty much sucks.

Behold, a conversation I had with Jordan Campbell…

JORDAN: Uhhh… Chris?

ME: Huh?

JORDAN: This review is only two sentences. And both of those sentences are terrible.

ME: Well, the album’s terrible. What do you want me to do about it? If we didn’t abandon the numbers, it would have simply read ‘Hang Zero’.

JORDAN: Dude, can you at least try to explain why it’s terrible?

ME: Well, besides the fact that it sounds like something Ghoul drunkenly recorded in their (probably) piss-soaked practice space in one take and then thought it would be hilarious to waste wax on, it reminds me way too much of psychobilly, which is also terrible. I know way too many cats that spend money that they earned at their jobs going to see bands like Reverend Horton Heat and Nekromantix and then absolutely ruin barbecues and other social gatherings by commandeering the stereo and playing that garbage all goddamn night. Hang Ten could easily fall into that category, what with its super-gimmicky premise and nearly unlistenable tunes. I’m simply not willing to let that happen, sir.

JORDAN: …

ME: …

JORDAN: (mutters under breath) I wish we were paying you so I could fire you.

ME: Huh?

JORDAN: Oh, nothing. Just finishing alphabetizing these Night Ranger CDs I got from Columbia House seventeen years ago. Whatever, though. Wrap this thing up. I’ve got places to not be tonight.

ME: Ok. Final thought: Hang Ten is a…

 

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA—WIPEOUT!

Posted by Old Guard

The retired elite of LastRites/MetalReview.

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