Originally written by Jordan Campbell
Unlike my esteemed colleague, I’m no Darkthrone aficionado. Other than their early 90’s necrotrinity (which, honestly, doesn’t strike me in the way that classic albums should) I’ve watched the duo’s career fly by from a distance. The story reads: Another year, another Darkthrone album…another yawn of indifference on my end. But the buzz/furor surrounding The Cult Is Alive’s blackpunk sneer piqued my interest slightly, and the infamous “Big sunglasses = cool band” Fenriz interview only served to spur that interest onward. Now, with the release of the pleasantly titled F.O.A.D., the time just seemed right to return to Darkthrone; and that killer cover art certainly didn’t hurt their case, either.
It takes some serious fire and fortitude to craft something as blatantly backward-thinking as this; especially while managing to sound fresh-as-hell at the same time. F.O.A.D. is a crusty platter of semi-thrashy, punked-out heavy metal, executed with the aesthetics of black metal iconography. While it is an unabashed throwback, and has been tailor made for raising a pint (or nine) to, it can also be used as a case study as to why the recent “retro” phase is just a passing fad. Operative word being ‘could’, because even though Darkthrone has made legions of pretenders look downright silly with one fell swoop, there’s no broader agenda to be found here. They simply wanted to make a nasty, rollicking tribute to the music that pumps through their veins, without the slightest concern for pretext. And they’ve succeeded in that regard.
But what about the songs, mannnnnnnnnn? Wrapped up in a suitably ‘Throne-ish production (raspy, but not too brittle), F.O.A.D. is wickedly vital for a 13th album; they ride to success on attitude, not songcraft. Tracks like “Canadian Metal” and “Raised On Rock” are just as fun as one would expect them to be; this is a fuckin’ party album to the bone, soaked with piss…and beer that tastes like piss. But, frankly, despite this album’s snarky delivery, not every cut is packed with blackened fun. For comparisons sake, take I’s Between Two Worlds as an example. While a monstrous album ‘as is’, it would’ve been even more charming and timeless if it contained more rocking Motörheadaches a la “The Storm I Ride”. F.O.A.D., similarly, reins you in with bouncing, snarling anthems, but leaves the adrenalin perched on the cliff. Clunkers “Pervertor of the 7 Gates” and “Wisdom of the Dead” prove that attitude can only get you so far, ultimately rendering this album essential only to those who tithe to the Church of Real Metal.
But that’s kinda the point, because Darkthrone don’t give a flying fuck about anything else; and if you don’t think that’s admirable, you can, frankly, Fuck Off and Die. These old codgers have been kicking around for a long-ass time, so perfection isn’t a thought that should be entertained. What is entertaining, though, is that a band at this stage in their career can create something so vibrant as to leave the listener craving more. Until that next dose of filth floats our way, I’ll be blasting the shit out of F.O.A.D. recklessly.
Even though I was steadfastly Raised On Rock, Darkthrone prove that you’re never too old to go back to school.
