Originally written by Ryan Plunkett
To all the bands out there working on metal albums, just quit right now. Seriously, stop. You’ll never write an album as metal as Advance and Vanquish from 3 Inches of Blood. It’s like Iron Maiden meets Judas Priest meets Running Wild meets damn near anything else remotely cool in metal from the 80’s. And what were the first words that popped out of my mouth as soon as this album started… quite simply “Fuck yes” which immediately lead to some wicked air guitar work. Now I was looking forward to this album, but I had no idea it was going to kick such large amounts of ass. This is probably the most metal thing written since the turn of the millennium containing lyrics about pirates (“Fear on the Bridge”), robots (“Wykydtron”), and most importantly swords (“Swordmaster”). On top of that, when you add old-school riffing, monster guitar solos, and arpeggio howls laced with goblin screams, you have an album that’s more metal than… well, anything.
3 Inches of Blood is home to a dual vocal attack at the hands of Cam Pipes and Jamie Hooper. These Canucks blend goblin like screams with vocals akin to the mighty Rob Halford (if I have to mention who that is to you, then you should pretty much kill yourself because you’re not metal enough to be looking at this). On top of that, add two kids, Justin Hagberg and Shane Clark, who definitely enjoyed their Maiden as kids. You know, there’s so many bands out there trying so hard to write an amazing true metal album but fail so miserably, yet 3 Inches of Blood succeed on so many levels. The dueling guitars never get tiresome, there’s plenty of righteous vocals to sing along to and it’s impossible not to head bang while listening to this and at the same time wanting to prance around in the dark forest with your mighty steed and trusty steel searching out trolls to do battle with.
Yes, 3 Inches of Blood is really that cool. If you are even remotely into any of the bands whose names I dropped, you owe it to yourself to buy this album immediately. Do it… now! This will easily be one of my top albums of the year. How could it not? It has anything you could ask for from a metal album as I’ve so nicely mentioned above. If you don’t take it upon yourself to purchase the most metal album in years, the Wykydtron will search you out and annihilate you and your family.