Hello and greetings, friends and frenemies, and welcome to my personal rundown of heavy music in 2024. I think this year we’re going to mostly dive right into things instead of spending a lengthy amount of words on general ruminations or awards or something or other, but there is one quick item I’d love to get off my chest…
Stop using so-called “artificial intelligence” programs for album covers, tour posters, or anything else visual in our metal scene. There are countless, countless artists out there that would love to have their work featured, and even mediocre real art is better than whatever gets spit out of a generative program, even if the latter looks shinier (most of the time it looks like obvious bullshit). It is not art, and worse than that, it’s sad and pathetic and damaging, and I don’t want to hear any excuses that it’s cheaper or easier. Spend a half hour on Instagram and give some kid $200. Stop outsourcing human expression to algorithms.
Now that I’ve said that to probably a bunch of deaf ears, let’s get to the music. After all, that’s why we’re all here, to seek out the joyful noise. Never have our ears had more options, and yes, sometimes it’s overwhelming, but in this great big rotten world, at least we have music.
Yet another reason not to let a bot do the painting, or the sculpting, or the songwriting.
OPENING SCRUMPTIOUSNESS
The honorable mentions that round out the unlisted portion of my top 50, both because I feel guilty leaving stuff out and because more music is a glorious thing:
A BOUNTY OF DELICIOUSNESS
20. Inter Arma – New Heaven
After three beastly records that largely followed the same format, Inter Arma might have needed to shake things up a bit. Enter New Heaven, their zaniest, techiest, and most efficient record to date. Sure, it still has The Pink Floyd Interlude and plenty of gargantuan sludge riffs, but all it takes is about 20 seconds of the opening title track to realize that this band is upping the Gorguts worship in their well-balanced and delightfully skronked out black/death/prog/doom hybrid.
• Last Rites Review in Missing Pieces
• Bandcamp
19. Dissimulator – Lower Form Resistance
While we’re on the subject of skronk, it’s delightful hearing all the young bands proudly waving the tech metal flag as if it’s 1992 all over again. Dissimulator comes from the same Québécois family of bands that includes Atramentus and Chthe’ilist, and their twitchy, violent, and tastefully complex brand of death/thrash delivers the techy goodness as much as it begs you to dive into the pit. Imagine a version of Demolition Hammer that met at music school, then got assimilated by The Borg.
• Last Rites Review
• Bandcamp
18. Crown of Anguish – Stalker at the Midian Gate
When The Danhammer described this as a potent mix of early Nile and Morbid Angel, my curiosity was plenty piqued, but spinning it revealed just how adept these cats are at nailing that mix. It’s brutal, melodic, and blunt, but also has that touch of space sass that you get from worshipping the Morbid Angel albums on which Erik Rutan blessed things with his presence. Alternate title: Amongst the Gatewaycombs of Nephren-Kannihilation.
• Last Rites Review
• Bandcamp
17. Malignancy – …Discontinued
My god… you’re greasy. Sure, Malignancy’s latest sees them increase the Immolationisms and (gasp) seriousness, and sure, they’re farther from their gory roots than ever here, but my god… this thing is an entire convoy of 18-wheelers loaded with riffs that are as slick and slippery as they are technically impressive. Greasy but not goopy, like a very well-oiled engine. Not to mention one of 2024’s most fun ways to get a good skull pounding.
• Last Rites Review
• Bandcamp
16. Thy Catafalque – XII: A gyönyörű álmok ezután jönnek
I didn’t give Thy Catafalque’s latest a ton of ears until I saw how much it was pleasing my LR crewmates, but once I did the thrill hit anew all over again. We have long since been taking Tamás Kátai and his ever-expanding troupe of players for granted ‒ he started this project over 25 years (!!!) ago now ‒ and all it takes are the tiniest of tweaks and his impeccable songcraft to provide another stunner. In this case he reemphasized the furthest reaches of his dynamic breadth, especially in the blasting black metal, and ho hum, he did it again. What a guy.
• Last Rites Review
• Bandcamp
15. Judas Priest – Invincible Shield
From my Missing Pieces blurb: “Invincible Shield is album number three in the Richie Faulkner era, and from the first verse of the totally irresistible opener ‘Panic Attack’ on, it’s pretty clear that there’s no letdown to be had after the resurgence brought with Firepower. More than that, however, because Invincible Shield probably tops Firepower, it ends up being the latest Priest album to rightfully claim ‘Best Since [insert album title that is probably Painkiller]’ status.”
14. Ihsahn – Ihsahn
From my review: “Absolutely no part of me thinks the man is done innovating or flying his freak flag, but this record shows how supremely kickass he is at simply being an excellent version of himself. This is a minor triumph for him at this stage of his career (even though he isn’t yet even 50 years old…) and a no-brainer for all fans of progressive and symphonic extreme metal, theatricality and drama, or simply indulging the whims of one of metal’s all-time great visionaries.”
13. Theurgy – Emanations of Unconscious Luminescence
It’s an album by a tri-continental supergroup that somehow includes a 19-year old amongst its ranks. It’s the 2024 album you’ll most want to play for people that say “I listen to everything, man.” It’s an album that I keep thinking of in the terms of “What if Passion and Warfare, but avant-garde brutal slam?” Emanations of Unconscious Luminescence is an exercise in contrasts between mind-boggling shred (and emphasis on [gasp] melody) and almost phenomenal level of ignorance (those dual toilet vocals are truly a thing). It won’t work for everyone, but for the right (wrong? [RIGHT!]) kind of mind, it’s a barrel of monkeys.
• Bandcamp
12. Kontact – Full Kontact
Kontact didn’t make one of the year’s best trad metal albums by directly imitating Maiden or Priest or Cirith Ungol ‒ although you’ll definitely hear the DNA of those bands ‒ they did it by being themselves. And by being kinda weird. Full Kontact sounds like NWOBHM filtered through Voivod, given an oddball sci-fi vibe, and produced so it’s perfect for a neon-lit cruise in your T-top. The leads are shreddy and bright, the vocals are Snake-y (and often a little paranoid), the bass pulsates, and the riffs and rhythms drive with just the tiniest touch of prog. The most fun you’ll have being probed in 2024.
• Last Rites Review
• Bandcamp
11. Henrik Palm – Nerd Icon
From my review: “Sure, there’s still a fair amount of metal and goth in there, but on Nerd Icon (his third), there are also touches of art rock, proto punk, neo psychedelia, indie alternative, space rock, chamber pop, and way more, making it equal parts gloomy, playful, punchily rocking, trippy, and escapist. It’s a rather diverse record that flows perfectly (if occasionally suddenly) from song to song, always maintaining a sense of wonder and deliberate, long game melodicism on what can only be described as an impeccably performed and produced record.”
• Bandcamp
10. MOSS UPON THE SKULL –
QUEST FOR THE SECRET FIRE
From my review: “Jef Van de Weghe’s riffing still carries that Satan-level quality that just dares you to try and play it, whether he’s hitting a fun 8th/16th pattern, splicing in tiny touches of dissonance, or showing off his nimble fingers during any of the more melodic, thrashy parts. When combined with lots of variety in tempo and rhythm, you get an album that ranges from the ultra hefty (the peak-weight-Morbid Angelness in ‘Paths Towards Chrysopoeia Pt. I’ and the haunted and doomy (‘Initiation to the Extracorporeal Odyssey’) to the downright rockin’ (pinch harmonic squeals in the lengthy title track). With the extra bonus of some serious charisma and rhythmic fun in the vocals and absolutely tip-top drumming, the band arrives at a sound that has a rather unique character but also ought to be pretty widely appealing.”
• Bandcamp
9. JULIE CHRISTMAS –
RIDICULOUS AND FULL OF BLOOD
Considering the 14-year gap between solo Julie Christmas offerings (and eight years since her collaboration with Cult of Luna), one could expect somewhat of a stylistic shift. And indeed, after 2010’s The Bad Wife saw just a moderate branching out from the noise and sludge sounds of Made Out of Babies, Ridiculous And Full Of Blood brings an absolute explosion of styles ranging from the familiar and harrowing noise/sludge and atmospheric post metal to synthy alternative and moments bordering on goth. Through it all is Julie’s inimitable voice, able to shift on a dime from serene and innocent to the sound of a wailing banshee, in equal measure comforting, sarcastic, beautifully escapist, and terrifying. She’s in top form across these 10 tracks, whether it’s the alt metal pop of “Supernatural” (which in a just world would be a major crossover hit), the post rock of “Silver Dollars,” or the progressive sludge of “The Lighthouse.” Nice to have you back in the spotlight, Ms. Christmas.
• Bandcamp
8. SCARCITY – THE PROMISE OF RAIN
At first blush, Scarcity’s sophomore outing The Promise of Rain seems like an album in constant conflict with itself. Guitars and bass operate seemingly at odds with each other, playing dissonance that borders on microtones; Lev Weinstein’s drums blast and hammer and rarely let up; and Doug Moore screeches and growls with a texture as if to blanket the rest of the abrasive, thorny music. But once your ears have adjusted to the supposed racket, it becomes clear how meticulously Brendon Randall-Myers and his bandmates have crafted this thing, and how every note, snare tap, and scream is designed to work in unison towards one monstrous whole. Then it becomes magical, captivating, beautiful. This is not an overtly welcoming album, but it’s also not as alienating and antagonistic as it might initially seem. At times it downright rocks, but it does so on Scarcity’s terms. Give into those terms, and you’ll find yourself enraptured by one of the most fascinating and truly progressive metal albums of the year.
• Bandcamp
7. WORMED – OMEGON
From my review: “Riffs range from the delightfully knuckle dragging to blindingly technical, with staccato pick scrapes and lightning fast widdles and flashes of shreddy leads tossed in for style; V-Kazar’s drumming is positively insane, using varyingly delivered blasts (lots of transitions from 16th notes to triplets), snare rolls, hi-hat shuffles, and a zillion other tricks to add impacts and nuance to every passage; and Phlegeton gives his most diverse vocal performance to date, adding more textural moments and “space spoken word” to his already gloriously deep gutturals and nutty “OOHREEHRUUHHHHRR” lines. It’s also stupidly brutal, with the extra touch of eerie space only further emphasizing how heavy this band can hit when everything is pounding like the Late Heavy Bombardment.”
• Bandcamp
6. CONCRETE WINDS – CONCRETE WINDS
Concrete Winds again raised the bar of their none-more-ferocious brand of ferocity on their self-titled offering. Their hammering, clamoring, grinding, relentlessly unrelenting black/death isn’t just aggressive to the nth degree, it’s downright rude. Extremely rude. As rude as the snottiest punk, but instead of spiky-headed ‘tude there’s a 10,000-bladed war machine headed at you at 200 miles per hour. Concrete Winds is why we use the term “unholy racket,” but don’t mistake their noise for a haphazardly assembled collection of sounds; this thing is very smartly assembled, with touches of groove or mid-paced stomping arriving just when you need the tiniest change in pace. For when you absolutely, positively have to reduce everything to a finely minced pulp, only Concrete Winds will do.
• Last Rites Review
• Bandcamp
5. REPLICANT – INFINITE MORTALITY
Speaking of bands upping their own game, Infinite Mortality sees New Jersey’s Replicant continue to be just about the most brilliantly stupid / stupidly brilliant band in death metal in all the best ways. Depending on the moment, you might get knuckledragging, Meshuggah-ian grooves and rhythms, Cannibal Corpse-y riff bombs, or progressive Gorgutsian tendencies. Replicant has a keen knack for when less is more and when more is more, and they utilize their various influences and levels of complexity across these labyrinthine 45 minutes. But do you want the real shiz on Infinite Mortality? Sure you do. Replicant has an innate understanding of one of death metal’s most important truths: this magical style of music is best when you’re going hard and having a blast. This record will crush you while you dance your dumbass to these ignorant grooves and make you smile while you’re trying to figure out its musical secrets. Continue to respect New Jersey or prepare for additional combat.
• Last Rites Review
• Bandcamp
4. ORANSSI PAZUZU – MUUNTAUTUJA
From my review: “…perhaps the most important thing one can say about Muuntautuja is that it continues Oranssi Pazuzu’s flawless streak of just being impossibly cool. This is music you want to hear over and over. It’s music you want to share, often with people that might not typically like the extreme metal ingredients. This is in spite of the fact that this and every Oranssi Pazuzu album brings with it a bit of a learning curve, because it’s always a welcoming learning curve based on the listener’s particular sense of curiosity and the band’s ability to write deep cosmic hooks. Even if you love Muuntautuja instantly, you’ll still be unraveling its secrets on your 25th listen. This band understands the value of depth, and as such possesses the type of magnetism that can’t really be taught… …If it hasn’t already been made abundantly clear, this album is unsurprisingly another big win for one of the most exciting bands in extreme music.”
• Bandcamp
3. PYRRHON – EXHAUST
When you know a band personally, as I do Pyrrhon, you experience a certain amount of pride for your friends when you see them continue to grow as artists, and Pyrrhon absolutely grew a few sizes on Exhaust. They managed to somewhat streamline their genre-splicing wackadoodlery into an incredibly efficient set of songs while also further expanding their stylistic breadth. The death/noise material is riffier, hookier than ever before, calling to mind everyone from Death to Unsane to The Dillinger Escape Plan, while the Swansy no wave moments (the Pyrrhon “ballads”) are more warbling and unsettling. The lyrics find an even better balance between sarcastic bite and vicious takedowns of the extremely lampoonable rich (or simply trying to get between boroughs in NYC). Everything just feels extra confident and determined, resulting in a notable leap from a band that was already operating at a high level and with a very unique voice. Proud of my boys.
• Last Rites Review
• Bandcamp
2. DEFEATED SANITY – CHRONICLES OF LUNACY
There’s a fun exercise you can do surrounding just about anything in entertainment, sports, etc. where you look from the past and into the present and assign championship belts for the athlete, band, actor, director, artist, whatever that was at the absolute peak of their respective scene for the moment. In death metal, everyone from Death, Cannibal Corpse, and Suffocation to Morbid Angel, Nile, and Gorguts probably held the belt at some point over the last 35 years, but none of them currently have that gold. No, the current champions are absolutely Defeated Sanity. They’ve been putting out killer material for 20 years at this point, but a largely solidified lineup has helped their live shows reach the next level. As for those albums… Chronicles of Lunacy continues a perfect win streak by taking them back to the more overtly brutal terrain of their middle years while continuing to filter it through their jazzier exploits. The result? The best and most devastating death metal album of 2024. Hail to the kings.
• Last Rites Review
• Bandcamp
1. OPETH – THE LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT
From my review: “…The Last Will and Testament is a dense record, throwing more ideas at the listener in that time than some of their longer albums do with an additional 20 minutes. Part of that is due to the format; this is a concept album about a wealthy father reading his titular last will and testament to his family, with seven of the eight tracks representing chapters in the will. These tracks often feel more like one large suite rather than individual songs, packed to the gills with proggy and infectious riffs (heaps of riffs), serene melodic passages, demonic growls, Ian Anderson narration (and flute solos!), jazzy drumming, actual orchestral flourishes, gorgeous singing, and a closer, more drawn in feel than many Opeth albums have featured in the past. If some past albums had the gargantuan scale of towering musical monoliths, The Last Will and Testament feels more intimate, as if you’re in the room with that aristocratic family, the music representing every dramatic twist and turn as secrets are revealed (gasp!). The density of the music really adds to that vibe.”
I also called it “latest stunning triumph in a long history of stunning triumphs” from Opeth, and I stand by that statement. This is a complex, deeply beautiful, and irresistible record that sees Opeth looking bravely into their own future. Despite the elements that draw from their past (um, the growls), they’ve never quite done something like this before. As for its placement in my top spot, well, Opeth is one of my favorite bands of all time, so when they release a great record there’s an almost 100 percent guarantee that it’s going to be part of the permanent rotation. The choice was pretty easy. Opeth stands alone.
LITTLE BITES
Never ignore the small stuff. Some of the best music comes in EP and demo form, and big apologies to Writhen Hilt for not getting to you until I’d finalized this. Should have listened to the gang.
10. Disentomb – Nothing Above
My blurb from the top EPs list: “While they’re moving even farther away from their slammier traits, Disentomb continues to prove that brutal death metal-plus-Ulcerate is a winning formula. That’s especially true when they combine the slippery dissonance with the vocal talents of Jordan James, who happens to show quite a bit of nuance without losing the good gutturals. Their heroes from across the Tasman Sea could learn a thing or two from this approach.”
• Bandcamp
9. Demon Spell – Evil Nights
From my review: “If some of the better known, bigger sounded King/Fate clones come off as more of a King Diamond: The Experience type of thing… …Demon Spell seem like they’re trying to tap into something on a deeper level with their connection to the early Fate material. Something eerier and more magickal. Well, consider that demon bell rang, that nun no-funned, that funeral black, and that corpse soulless.”
• Bandcamp
8. Kryatjurr of Desert Ahd – Unforgiving Heatwaves of Psychosis and Deforestation
My blurb from the top EPs list: “This Australian trio is terrified of climate change (aren’t we all?), and they’re putting out material at such a rate you’d think they expect society to fall any moment now (don’t we all?). This EP sees them further refining the ambient side of their black metal mix, adding extra sounds and textures to the Leviathan-meets-Paysage d’Hiver atmosphere. In barely 20 minutes it rises from pretty escapism to fully-blown black metal terror and back, a fitting soundtrack for the daily ride our emotions go on when confronted with the horrific reality of our situation.”
• Bandcamp
7. Dødskvad – Krønike III
With a pedigree that includes Stygian Ruin, Sovereign, and live stints in Nekromantheon and Aura Noir, it’s no surprise that Norway’s Dødskvad brings it. This EP has the vibes of an early 90s death metal demo in all the best ways: a raw and cavernous production meets classic OSDM riffage, drums that are curiously miked, and an enticing sense of melody and atmosphere. Not one element of this sounds like it came out of 2024, and that’s the point.
• Bandcamp
6. New Money – Dinero Nuevo
From folks that brought you Piss Vortex and Elitist comes Dinero Nuevo, a brief package of bottled rage so delightful you’ll forget (and/or forgive) that it’s doing its best to pancake you. At its core this is noise rock, all dynamic drumming and ultra thick bass, but it doesn’t take long for it to bring in plenty of elements of grindcore (blinding blasts), math (some serious Meshuggah riff patterns), classic metalcore (headbangable dissonance), and straight up hardcore (beatdown vocal cadences). What it is more than anything is good, unfriendly, violent fun.
• Bandcamp
5. Profanation – Skull Crushing Violence
From my review: “Skull Crushing Violence is like some serious glutton for punishment tossed From Enslavement to Obliteration, Misery Index, Morbid Tales, Vulgar Necrolatry, and Hear Nothing See Nothing Say Nothing into a blender, turned the setting to liquify, and then left the gas stove running so everything goes kablooey when your blender shorts out from all the ferocity.”
• Bandcamp
4. Xanathar – Thunders Over Waterdeep
Who likes it triumphant? “Thunders Over Waterdeep” is 10 and a half minutes of triumph in the form of an epic doom and atmospheric black metal mashup: froggy harsh vocals, soaring cleans, and riffs that range from monolithic doom lines to icy tremolo melodies. Think Caladan Brood with a little less Summoning and a touch more Scald (and even a little Sacramentum). This one here might be the raise-your-sword-iest song of the year, this one.
• Bandcamp
3. Repugnancy – Vile Ancient Transfiguration
From my 2024 New Standard Elite demo rundown: “Grind-speed, hammering, technical, and pretty wickedly great brutal death metal that feels like a total tease at only five minutes. Everything goes by in the flashiest of flashes. Riffs pop in and out without even saying hello; solos last all of about three seconds; drums pound with all the heft of the riffs while having those ‘artsy’ ping blasts; vocals growl and scream and rant and almost lead the catchy moments before another weapon comes in destroys everything in sight.”
• Bandcamp
2. Desecrated Ubiquity – Demo 2024
The debut demo from this Turkish duo might be 2024’s most efficient way to get thoroughly flattened. Present are all the hallmarks of the more brainwarped corners of brutal death metal ‒ demented lead squiggles, jazzy drum fills, plunger belch vocals, morbidly obese riffs, a complete and utter disrespect for the snare drum, etc. ‒ but squint your ears and you’ll sense some riffcraft that comes from Cannibal Corpse as much as it does Devourment. It’s still squarely in The Goop Zone, of course, but it’s a more technical, spiraling form of goop than one might typically expect, and it absolutely whets the appetite for whatever these dudes are cooking up for the future.
• Bandcamp
1. Owl – Ghosts of Summer
From my review: “Of course, it’s still the almighty riff that rules the day. During the opening title track, the blasting parts provide a kind of suspended tension before the tune gets to clobbering time, whether that comes in the form of direct, moshy beatdown riffs or some stop-start Chaosphere action… …For established fans of Owl or the wider Zeitgeister family, Ghosts of Summer is a no-brainer, but it also deserves an ear for fans that appreciate a somewhat off-kilter take on multidisciplinary extreme metal and/or just like their riffs with more pull than Jupiter’s gravity well. So heavy you’ll need to inspect your home’s foundations after playing on the big boy speakers. So fun you’ll gladly pay for the repairs.”
Oh and they just dropped another killer 2024 EP in Ivory Eye. Go get it.
• Bandcamp
OTHER CUISINES
Here are a few more albums that enriched my life this year. Please to be enjoying, yes?
Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds – Wild God
I’ll admit that I half expected Nick Cave to put the Bad Seeds to bed, because the “Nick Cave and Warren Ellis” name atop CARNAGE seemed more apt for where they were at that time. But here we are with Wild God, a glorious and gorgeous explosion of musical love (and “Joy”) that might be the most overtly and unabashedly emotional album Cave has ever released. It represents a rebirth of sorts for the Bad Seeds, having much of the ambient and piano-driven material of recent albums but combining it with the gospel and roots rock Cave has used at times in the past. When it’s sensitive it’s as quiet as anything on Skeleton Tree; when it swells it soars as high as the biggest moments of Abattoir Blues / The Lyre of Orpheus. There’s little wonder why they’re playing just about the whole album on tour right now.
The Cure – Songs of a Lost World
It took them 16 years, but The Cure finally released a new album, and I’ll be damned if it isn’t the best thing they’ve put out since Wish. Songs of a Lost World succeeds first and foremost because it’s the best collection of songs Robert Smith has written in over 30 years, but also because it sticks with a winning and celebrated formula. Disintegration has its DNA all over this thing in all the best ways, from the long intros and shimmery production to Smith’s sparse and still-golden vocals. But hey, blink and you’ll hear a little The Top and Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me in there as well. The lesson: play the hits, even if they’re new hits.
Kraanerg – Heart of a Cherry Pit Sun
Would you, dear reader, care to get nuts? Kraanerg plays the jazz, symphonic rock, and prog hybrid known as zeuhl, and they do it in maximum freakout mode almost exclusively. Hammering drums and a slightly black metal guitar foundation (they tag themselves as “brutal prog” for a reason) provide a massive space in which piano, saxophone, and strings weave their dramatic drama. It feels both meticulously composed and free for improvisation, and as such might cause you to dance with glee or headbang like a maniac, depending on the particular moment. Wicked, wild, wacky, and way cool stuff.
• Bandcamp
Papangu – Lampião Rei
Brazilian progsters Papangu followed up their dynamite and adventurous debut Holoceno with the equally dynamite and even more adventurous Lampião Rei. While notably less metal than its predecessor, Lampião Rei further emphasizes the band’s penchant for theatricality and playfulness. It explodes with heavy progressive rock, jazz, psychedelia, funk, traditional Brazilian music, and all the guitars, keyboards, flutes, organs, drums, and um… rubber chickens that you can possibly throw onto one record. An enchanting celebration of love, riffs, culture, and life.
• Bandcamp
The Smile – Wall of Eyes & Cutouts
Thom Yorke and Jonny Greenwood are obviously feeling rather liberated under The Smile name, as they’ve already released three albums within the span of about two and a half years, including two this year. There’s also a lived-in feel and bit of spontaneity here that has been missing from Radiohead’s last few albums, aided greatly by Tom Skinner’s restrained but creative drumming. Neither Wall of Eyes nor Cutouts will come as a huge shock to those that loved 2022’s A Light for Attracting Attention, but both albums stretch the band’s dynamics farther in several directions, whether that direction sees more post rock, more jammy shuffling, more sleek technicality, or some of the loudest heft heard from Greenwood’s guitar since the 90s (the finish of Wall of Eyes’ “Bending Hectic” is truly massive). But what really sets The Smile apart is that there’s a feeling that the trio is just hungrily writing songs then releasing them when they have enough to fill a record. It’s a very refreshing approach that has already proven capable of yielding golden results. Keep it up, guys.
• Bandcamp
AN OFFAL SERVING
If you’re still reading, bless you. You got through a brief (but justified!) tirade and a whole bunch of listicle madness, so you deserve a reward. Or rather, a “reward.” Presenting the second annual celebration of death metal’s ridiculous nature by way of yet another “completely” “serious” analysis of some of the most preposterous death and grind song titles of the year. Silliness is good.
- Abhorrently: “Grotesquely Infecting Innards” – This one wins purely on how funny it is to say out loud. Go ahead and try it. [waits] See?
- Becerus: “Pathetic Bovine Humour” – Becerus doesn’t have lyrics, so who knows if this song has a real point, but I’m going to assume that they saw a very unfunny cow get booed off the comedy club stage and wanted to grunt about it.
- Celestial Bifurcation: “Infinite Spaghettification” – Big fan of the term “spaghettification.” Definitely not a big fan of the experience. Look it up. Space is terrifying!
- Effluence: “Composted Humanity” – Kinda into the idea of being composted and used to grow a tree after I’m dead. Just gonna assume that’s what this song is about. Right, Effluence? Right?! [insert Padme and Anakin meme]
- Gutless: “Avalanche of Viscera” – When Cannibal Corpse’s “Rotted Body Landslide” happens during the winter?
- Gutting: “Release the Tension (In those Intestines)” – When your latte hits the accelerator during your morning meeting and you successfully make it to the finish line.
- Har: “Metaphysical Stench” – Har strikes me as a band that has some Super Serious meaning behind a title like “Metaphysical Stench,” so this song probably isn’t about a group of unwashed weirdos debating Deathspell Omega lyrics. But what my theory presupposes is, maybe it is?
- Hemorrhoid: “Ultimate Commode of Chaos & Carnage” – Play this at the same time as “Release the Tension (In those Intestines).”
- Krypticy: “UGH!” – We feel ya, Krypticy.
- Neuropsychosis: “Hung for Consumption” – Ever see one of those rooms where they hang hams to age? It’s like looking at the face of god. Death metal is secretly about 35% about food.
- Repugnancy: “Meticulous Exsanguination” – Attention to detail is important in today’s complex world.
- Severe Torture: “Hogtied In Rope” – On one hand, of course you’re hogtied in rope. On the other… specificity is also essential, especially in terms of how over-litigated we’ve become. Caution: your coffee is hot, you goo-brained ignoramus.
- Slimelord: “Tidal Slaughtermarsh” – Ever see a zombie movie when the protagonists/victims find themselves in a marsh? Yep. Adios.
- Submerged: “Infested with Barnacles” – I can’t explain exactly why, but I’m deeply grossed out by barnacles. There’s a scene on Futurama when Dr. Zoidberg says “I’ve got barnacles on my tuckus” and I just about dry heave every time. But we’re going for gross-out in brutal death metal, right? Success!
- Trog: “Interstellar Offal Dealer” – See? More food. This guy has a spot on DS9’s promenade right next to the gagh stand.
Thanks for reading and happiest of holidays to you all, friends.
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Thanks for another year’s worth of sizzling recommendations, Zach. An excellent round-up of noisy releases, with plenty of albums I’ve not heard before, which always makes for an interesting EOY listicle. Happy holidays, man.
CRAIG. Thanks for reading, duder. I can’t take too much credit for the unknown stuff, because I usually just steal everyone else’s Bandcamp recs. But enjoy!